She doesn't 'like' what Facebook's doing to her

DEAR ABBY: Help! Facebook is killing my social life. I am wondering if anyone else is having this experience.

I am a woman whose job requires me to be on the computer eight hours a day. The last thing I want after work is to go online. Before Facebook took over my social circle, this wasn't a problem. But now all my friends and family are on the site and pressuring me to do likewise.

Gradually, Facebook contact seems to be replacing real, physical get-togethers. Things that used to be done in person or over the phone are now all done on Facebook, and we rarely get together anymore. If I don't check Facebook, I am out of the loop.

If I suggest getting together, everyone is "busy" - busy on Facebook, I guess. They aren't mad at me or avoiding me, they just want contact on their terms. Am I the only one having this problem?

- Old-School in Champaign, Ill.

DEAR OLD-SCHOOL: I'm sure you're not the only one. The Internet is supposed to be a tool to facilitate communication, not a substitute for real, flesh-and-blood relationships. If you can't work out a compromise with your friends and family - say, one in-person visit a month - you may have to cultivate some new relationships with other "old-school" people who also prefer face-to-face contact.

DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor who is always asking to borrow things. The items come back only if I go and collect them - from food items like spices, to gasoline, cash and more. The situation is almost comical, like Simpson vs. Flanders. How can I make my stuff less available without outright saying "no"?

- Flanders of "Springfield," Maine 

DEAR FLANDERS: And what is wrong with just saying "no"? When someone's generosity is abused, that's the most logical thing to do.

And without being nasty, you should tell your neighbor the reason why.