Is 30 years too much age between lovers?

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow who has fallen in love with a wonderful man who is almost 30 years my junior. He proclaims his love for me every day, and I know it's real. I have been warned by others to be aware of "devious males on the make for comfortably situated widows." After discussing it with the man, I have determined this is not his motive.

Right now, we're good friends who love each other's company. If marriage is in the future for us, I'm afraid of the age factor. He is not. Could you comment and give me some guidance?

- Cautious in Kansas

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Everyone knows there are devious males - and females - out there, but not all men are predators. If your friend is financially independent, then it's unlikely he's looking for a sugar mama. Although it is unusual, I know several couples in which the wife is considerably older than the husband, and they seem very happy together.

If and when you plan to marry, it makes sense to discuss this with your attorney and have a prenuptial agreement created. If your friend has no ulterior motives, he will understand it's for the protection of both of you and sign it. You have only one life to live - so live it without worrying about what others may think.

DEAR ABBY: Have you ever - out of the blue - thought of someone you hadn't seen, heard from or thought of in a long time, and later discovered they died around that time? This has happened to me more times than I can count. No one I have spoken with - friends or family - has experienced this. Have you ever heard of this phenomenon, and is there a name for it?

- Miss J. in Oklahoma

DEAR MISS J.: I have never had that experience, but I have heard of the phenomenon. It's called either ESP or coincidence, depending upon which psychic plane you dwell. However, I have had friends "pop into my head" and thought I should give them a call, only to hear from them a few days later.