Transgender dad embarrassing kids
DEAR ABBY: After 10 years of marriage, my now ex-husband told me he's transgender. He's not taking hormones, but he makes no attempt to hide his feminine dressing, makeup and wigs from our 6- and 9-year-old sons. They understand little of their dad's new life, other than that he likes "girl stuff." They often tell me they're embarrassed with him in public when he has his nails painted or wears female clothing.
D
EAR ABBY:
After 10 years of marriage, my now ex-husband told me he's transgender. He's not taking hormones, but he makes no attempt to hide his feminine dressing, makeup and wigs from our 6- and 9-year-old sons. They understand little of their dad's new life, other than that he likes "girl stuff." They often tell me they're embarrassed with him in public when he has his nails painted or wears female clothing.
I have tried talking with my ex about this, but he becomes resentful when I bring it up. He feels he can do whatever he wants regardless of how he embarrasses our sons. Do you think I could take him to court to have an order put in place that he not dress like that when he has our children?
- Needs to Know in New York
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: You could discuss it with your divorce lawyer, but I don't think it would work. It would be much better if you asked your ex to explain to his boys the reason he's dressing in female attire so they can understand it. Your husband is not going to change, so they are going to have to interact with him until they are quite a bit older.
DEAR ABBY: I have an 11-year-old daughter who was diagnosed with severe ADHD and anxiety at age 7. She is receiving treatment for her condition.
I don't know how to cope with her and her condition. I get impatient and frustrated when I have to continually repeat myself because she's not doing what she has to do. I'm afraid I may have hurt her by lashing out at her in anger, and I catch myself yelling and screaming more than hugging and praising. I need to find help and resources to educate me and provide support for this very real condition.
- In ADHD Turmoil
DEAR IN TURMOIL: A place to start would be to discuss your concerns with the doctor or therapist who treats your daughter. Your feelings are not unusual, and he or she may be able to direct you to a parent support group in your area.
If that's not possible, go online and search "support groups for parents of children with ADHD." You will find many pages of resources - so many that it's not possible to list all of them here.