In therapy, he reveals sisters had sex with him

DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old son is in recovery from substance abuse. He has also dealt with depression over the years. He has informed his therapist, his father and me that his older sisters had sex with him when he was a young child. It was one of the explanations he gave for his depression and substance abuse.

I have wanted to talk to his counselor about the situation so that as a family we can talk to his sisters. We could perhaps find out whether what he's referring to is normal experimentation or something more. We would also be able to ask his sisters if they were abused and acting out as a result of it. It seems incredible that as parents we were oblivious because we thought we were aware of and vigilant about threats to our children.

Now our son does not want to discuss this and refuses to see his counselor. We're afraid that pushing him will trigger a relapse on his part, but we are also concerned about whether there might be an issue with his sisters that should be addressed. Should we tell him we're going to raise it with his sisters? Or should we wait until he's ready?

- Wants To Do What's Best

DEAR WANTS: This news has to have been shocking to you and your husband as parents, but it isn't time yet for a family discussion, because your son may be too fragile. Also, I think professional ethics prevent your son's therapist from discussing this with you. Issues like this can be complicated, and the facts may never be known.

What is most important now is for you to show your son that you love him and care about his emotional health, and while you respect his privacy, it is vital that he help himself move forward. The past cannot be changed, but it is important for his future that he find a professional with whom he can talk, if the therapist he has been seeing isn't helping him. Table any family discussion about this until your son is stronger.