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Grieving sisters hate dad's soon-to-be wife

DEAR ABBY: My mother died a few years ago after a prolonged illness. My father has found a new lady ("Colette") to share his life, and they are now engaged.

DEAR ABBY: My mother died a few years ago after a prolonged illness. My father has found a new lady ("Colette") to share his life, and they are now engaged.

My problem is my sisters. We are all adults with families of our own. They don't like Colette at all. They are rude to her and behave like spoiled children. Colette is very different from Mom, but our family has always been open-minded and taken pride in our conviction that "normal" is just a setting on the dryer.

Colette isn't after Dad's money, nor is she forcing her way into our lives. She's also not trying to replace Mom. It appears she genuinely cares for our dad, which I can understand. He's a good man, smart, attractive and fun to be with.

Dad is happy as a clam. He's enjoying life and has lots more life to live. The only thing that mars his happiness is my sisters' attitudes. What can I do to help them? I don't want to be too harsh because I know they are still grieving, but I hate to see them drive a wedge into what remains of our family.

- Joy in Texas

DEAR JOY: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. Perhaps you should remind your sisters how grateful they should be that your father has been able to find happiness after losing your mother. Not all widowers are able to do that. Stress that his desire to remarry is a tribute to the relationship he had with your mother, because men who had unfulfilling marriages usually don't want to commit again.

Point out that they have nothing to gain by alienating Colette and a lot to lose, because the more they treat her with disrespect, the farther away they will drive her - and your dad. Then suggest that if they can't resolve their grief, they join a support group or consult a therapist for help.