She's a freak, he's meek. Eek.


Q: IN MY mind, I'm the biggest sex freak, but you would never know it to look at me. I'm very conservative and buttoned up. I'm in my 40s and my hormones are all over the place. I feel sexually revved up more than ever. My husband has no idea of the kind of XXX fantasies I have. He's a very nice man, but I've never opened up because I know he would be shocked to know of my interest in swinging and S&M. That brings me to why I'm writing. I want to share this side of me with him but don't where to start.

Mia: Start by showing the dude your email to us. He's going to immediately ask what kind of fantasies you are talking about. Start by sharing something mild, like maybe a stranger sex fantasy, then take it from there. A glass of wine will make your true confessions a little easier.

Steve: Good sex is based on good communication. Both sides have to be open and honest. In areas where your desires don't coincide, you'll find room to compromise.

Q: I have spent the entire summer going on Internet dates and going to parties and bars hoping to meet The One. It's been a frustrating experience. The summer's almost over and I'm still all alone. My biological clock has run out. My hair is completely gray and something tells me I'll be alone forever.

Mia: Alone? I doubt it. I'll bet you have a few good friends, ask them to be completely honest with you and tell you if you are doing anything wrong. You could be giving off desperation signals. You may be hanging out in all the wrong places. It also may be time to get rid of the gray. But you'll never know unless you are brutally honest with yourself. That's hard to do, which is why you should ask an impartial observer.

Steve: If you can become comfortable with the notion of living alone, you will become more desirable to others. Funny how that works.