His scar is ruining the life he wants
DEAR ABBY: I was born with a very weak heart. At age 23, I went into heart failure and needed surgery. It has been two years since my open heart procedure, and it has changed my life for the best.
As a young, semi-attractive male, I feel insecure about my scar. I went to the beach with friends, and so many people looked at my scar I got uncomfortable and put my shirt back on for the rest of the time. I haven't gone back to the beach since. And in situations where guys go shirtless, I wear mine even over the protests of my friends.
I can't get over the scar. I feel like I'm disfigured. Any advice on how I can deal with this huge change?
- Self-Conscious in Georgia
DEAR SELF-CONSCIOUS: Because you're sensitive about the scar, perhaps you should talk to a plastic surgeon about your options in having it reduced. However, in my opinion, you are not "disfigured" - you are alive. You fought for your life and won.
Few people get through life without some "battle scars." Since you can't change the fact that it's there, consider changing the way you think about it. In a way, it's your medal of honor. Scars have been known to fade with time, and so does self-consciousness.
DEAR ABBY: My grandson will be getting married in Chicago. What's the appropriate dress code regarding wearing pantyhose these days? It seems everyone you see in a dress is bare-legged. I want to be comfortable, but also appropriately dressed.
- Best-Dressed Grandma
DEAR GRANDMA: It depends upon how formal the wedding will be and whether it will be held indoors or outside. If it's outside and informal, and the weather is hot and humid, you could go bare-legged. However, if it's indoors and the attire is dressy - and you want to maintain your reputation as "best-dressed granny" - hold up your "end" and wear pantyhose.