Weird letters & advice today ...April Fools!

DEAR READERS: It's April Fools' Day, the one day I can share some unique letters - clearly, more than a few written in an attempt to have some fun with me. Enjoy!

DEAR ABBY: Many times when I would wake up in the morning, I'd find toothpaste already on my toothbrush, courtesy of my foreign-born girlfriend, "Inger." Because I am chivalrous, I figured I would return the favor. So at night before going to bed or in the morning, I'd tiptoe to the bathroom and put toothpaste on her toothbrush.

Well, the other day Inger told me, "Don't put toothpaste on my toothbrush!" I was flabbergasted. And if that's not enough, she no longer preps my toothbrush, either.

I know, I know - I should have asked a simple "Why?" but I wasn't in the mood for drama. Now it's eating at me and I just don't get it.

- Confused in Connecticut

DEAR CONFUSED: I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but here it is: Inger appears to be giving you the brush-off.

DEAR ABBY: I have this really hot, sexy latex dress in lilac. I can't decide which color 6-inch stilettos to wear with it, black or white. I don't want to look trashy. - Fashionista in the East

DEAR FASHIONISTA: With latex in April, wear flats and a long overcoat.

DEAR ABBY: All the letters you have printed about pennies brought back the memories of what happened in our family when I was very small. My mother won a $10 gold piece for her sponge cake, but our family dog swallowed the coin.

You are probably wondering if we got the coin back. No, we didn't. Turned out the coin was counterfeit, and the dog couldn't "pass it." - Gotcha! in Amherst, Ohio

DEAR GOTCHA! Now that's a shaggy dog story if I ever heard one. (And for a moment, I swallowed it.)