Has daughter learned mom had an abortion?

Portrait of beautiful woman leaned on the bench.
Close-up of beautiful worried woman.

DEAR ABBY: Before my ex-husband and I were married, I became pregnant with his baby. We decided together that we weren't ready for the responsibility and made the mutual decision to end the pregnancy early in the first trimester. We did marry eventually and had a baby girl a few years ago who is now in college.

We divorced many years ago because of his many affairs, including one with his best friend's wife. I have come to believe that my ex told our daughter about our decision out of spite because I told her about the affairs when she was old enough to understand since she may have a half-sister.

Should I ask my daughter about this or let it go? It was a very private decision, and I think he is a creep for hurting her by telling her.

- Furious in Illinois

DEAR FURIOUS: Why do you think your ex spilled the beans to your daughter? Why do you think she "may" have a half-sister? Are you sure it isn't more than one - or a brother or two?

The fact that you terminated a pregnancy before your daughter's birth has nothing to do with her. If you think there is something festering between you and your daughter, my advice is to clear the air before it gets worse.

 

DEAR ABBY: Is it too late for me to go back to school and get a degree and pursue a career I would enjoy?

I'm 53, married and the mother of two children, 19 and 23. I didn't finish college, and I don't know what to do with my life. The only jobs I have ever had were as a retail salesperson. With one child just out of college, I am unsure if I could even afford to continue my education.

Any advice would be appreciated.

- Too Old 4 New Tricks?

DEAR TOO OLD?: Contact the nearest university or college and ask if it offers career counseling and aptitude testing to determine what you would need to complete your education and find a career you'd be suited for. As for it being too late to do this at 53 - it's never too late. People in their 90s have earned degrees and been enriched by it, and so can you.