Monday, April 21, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

She wants a baby, he wants his drugs

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I want to start a family, but until now our circumstances have not made this possible. After a big move and starting a new business, we have decided it's about time. My problem is, my husband uses drugs to relieve stress. I don't feel he abuses them; it just takes the edge off after a hard day's work, like a glass of wine does for me sometimes.

I would like him to stop taking the drugs while we are trying to conceive, in case it could affect the baby. He is unwilling and it makes me crazy. I have decided that if he can't do this, he isn't ready to be a father. On the other hand, he's a hard worker, and I wonder if by asking him to do this I am being selfish.

- Ready for Motherhood

DEAR READY FOR MOTHERHOOD: You are not being selfish, you are being prudent. According to Dr. June Reinisch, director emerita of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction: "There is some evidence that suggests that certain drugs can attach to the sperm and therefore affect the fetus. So the best plan for a healthy baby would be for the man to be as 'clean' as possible before he starts to make a child. This is because sperm are produced about three months before they are released."

More coverage
  • 19, pregnant & afraid to disappoint her family
  • He's off the booze, but it keeps her afloat
  • Her abusive ex was invited to Thanksgiving
  •  

    DEAR ABBY: Well, here is a new one on me. I was walking through a department store looking for my wife, and right there in front of me was a 40-something woman in her bra trying on a blouse!

    Please tell me - is this the new normal?

    - Greg in Gainesville, Fla.

    DEAR GREG: It's unusual, but not unheard of - particularly if all of the dressing rooms are in use.

    In order to prevent this from happening again, avert your eyes when you're in the women's department.

    Dear Abby
    Latest Videos:
    Also on Philly.com
    Stay Connected