She wants a baby, he wants his drugs
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I want to start a family, but until now our circumstances have not made this possible. After a big move and starting a new business, we have decided it's about time. My problem is, my husband uses drugs to relieve stress. I don't feel he abuses them; it just takes the edge off after a hard day's work, like a glass of wine does for me sometimes.
I would like him to stop taking the drugs while we are trying to conceive, in case it could affect the baby. He is unwilling and it makes me crazy. I have decided that if he can't do this, he isn't ready to be a father. On the other hand, he's a hard worker, and I wonder if by asking him to do this I am being selfish.
- Ready for Motherhood
DEAR READY FOR MOTHERHOOD: You are not being selfish, you are being prudent. According to Dr. June Reinisch, director emerita of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction: "There is some evidence that suggests that certain drugs can attach to the sperm and therefore affect the fetus. So the best plan for a healthy baby would be for the man to be as 'clean' as possible before he starts to make a child. This is because sperm are produced about three months before they are released."
DEAR ABBY: Well, here is a new one on me. I was walking through a department store looking for my wife, and right there in front of me was a 40-something woman in her bra trying on a blouse!
Please tell me - is this the new normal?
- Greg in Gainesville, Fla.
DEAR GREG: It's unusual, but not unheard of - particularly if all of the dressing rooms are in use.
In order to prevent this from happening again, avert your eyes when you're in the women's department.