Response to RSVP shows he's a JERK
DEAR ABBY: I recently declined a wedding invitation because my spouse and I will be out of town on the date of the wedding. A few days after I sent the RSVP, I got an email from the groom saying he had "suspicions" that I wasn't attending because I was bitter about not being in the wedding party.
I was shocked by the email. Not only do I not care about who is in the wedding party, I don't think we're such close friends that we should have been invited in the first place. I think it's appalling that he would accuse someone who declined an invitation of having ulterior motives for not going.
I emailed him back, explaining that we will be out of town and how upset and disappointed I am that he would think something like that. Wasn't what he did a breach of etiquette?
- Appalled in New York
DEAR APPALLED: Yes, it was. Your inability to attend the wedding appears to have brought to the surface the groom's insecurity about his social relationships. I don't blame you for being appalled. The man's behavior was inappropriate.
DEAR ABBY: When my wife and I go to a busy restaurant or a concert where we can pick up last-minute tickets, I often ask her to hop out of the car to find out if the wait times are reasonable or tickets are available, while I wait in the car. I do this so I won't have to find a parking space until we're sure we will be staying.
My wife says my doing this is tacky. I believe it is efficient. What are your thoughts, recognizing that I usually come up with the short straw on matters of manners? Thanks!
- John K. in Windsor, Conn.
DEAR JOHN K.: Your request makes perfect sense to me. Parking spaces are sometimes hard to find and valet parking isn't cheap. However, because your wife resents doing this, either she should be the one to drive so you can "hop out," or tickets and reservations should be made in advance either online or on the phone.