Sons' adoption details are a private matter

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two wonderful sons who joined our family through adoption. While we don't broadcast that they are adopted, it sometimes comes up in conversation. When it does, people inevitably ask, "What happened to their 'real' parents?" or, "Why were they given up?"

I know folks are curious, but these comments are hurtful. The details of my sons' lives are private, to be shared as they grow in age-appropriate ways. These questions always seem to come up when the kids are around and I feel unprepared to answer them.

Do you have any suggestions for a witty and confident response that can shut down these questions?

- Adopted Mom in Indy

DEAR ADOPTED MOM: That someone would be so insensitive as to pose those questions in front of the children is disconcerting. While I can't think of a "witty" response that would deter the questioner, I can think of one that would be effective. Look the person in the eye, smile and say, "Oh, that's a long story, but look at what beautiful sons I have. I feel truly blessed."

DEAR ABBY: My parents died when I was a teenager. In the years since I have noticed strange things. I often see streetlights turn off right before I drive under them. I drive a lot at night and in the early morning because I work graveyard shifts, and it seems to happen almost every day when I go to work or come home.

I guess it could be coincidental. But a friend suggested years ago that it's my parents letting me know they're watching over me. I want to believe, yet I feel skeptical at the same time. Have you ever heard of anything like it?

- Lights Out in Federal Way, Wash.

DEAR LIGHTS OUT: The only time I have heard of anything like what you're experiencing has been when I happened to come upon a television show about the paranormal. More important than what I believe is what you choose to believe. If the reassurance that your parents are watching over you brings you comfort, then I am all for it.