Sideshow: Mom's mum on family planning

If you ever find yourself hanging out with Jennifer Aniston, remember not to ask her if she's having kids with fiancé Justin Theroux. She's sick of all the questions. Jen tells ABC she's constantly asked how many boys and girls she wants. The way they ask, says Jen, implies they assume celebs have kids the way regular folk order burgers. "I didn't realize you could place orders! I honestly didn't realize it was like a drive-thru, that you could talk to a little electronic voice," says Jen.

Anyway, there's been no time to make babies: Jen's been busy getting her bod in shape to play a stripper in her new pic, We're the Millers. "Honestly, it was the craziest workout," she says of her first ever role as a stripper - "at least . . . in film," Jen teases. She's fulfilled: "I surround myself with my amazing work, my amazing friends, my amazing partner, my beautiful dogs."

Would that all of us had Oprah as our life coach and mentor. Lindsay Lohan does.

O has been getting LiLo's spirit in shape in preparation for the starlet's reality show.

"I believe that she believes that she is now ready," Oprah tells Good Morning America of LiLo's fitness for duty. "She admitted that there were other times when she was pretending to be ready and not quite sure . . . sometimes resentful that she was being, you know, put in a position where she had to go to rehab. I think this is the first time I could see it really benefited her."

LiLo has to face reality on the show. A teaser has O ask the young'un, "What does it feel like to be both an adjective and a verb for child-star-gone-wrong?"

Could Dancing with the Stars rehabilitate Paula Deen's image? We may never know: Us Weekly says the show wants her for next season. Sources tell the mag she turned it down.

Mark Wahlberg is no choirboy, so it seems significant when he's distressed by Justin Bieber's recent antics.

"Justin, are you listening? Don't be so naughty," Wahlberg, a former teen popster, admonished during a live webchat with London's the Sun. "Be a nice boy, pull your trousers up, make your mum proud. Stop smoking all that weed, you little . . .."

But Wahlberg is equally perturbed by haters who criticize Justin: "He's a kid! Let him live his life."

Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines this week became the R&B singer's first LP to take No. 1 on the Billboard album charts, selling 177,000 units, according to Nielsen SoundScan. The Wrong Side of Heaven and the Righteous Side of Hell: Volume 1 from Five Finger Death Punch is at No. 2 with 112,000. Jay Z's Magna Carta . . . Holy Grail slips to No. 3 with 62,000.

Dan Auerbach's estranged wife, Stephanie Ann Gonis Auerbach, alleges in divorce papers the Black Keys guitarist abused her, though she doesn't specify, reports the New York Daily News. . . . Tracy Morgan, 44, on Wednesday introduced his baby with a photo on WhoSay. "Here is Maven Sonae Morgan at 2 weeks y'all!" wrote the comic. . . . Usher's ex-wife, Tameka Foster Raymond, has filed for an emergency custody hearing in the wake of a pool accident their son, Usher Raymond V, had on Monday, says the Los Angeles Times.