Dear Abby: Clingy fiance may become dangerous husband

DEAR ABBY: I'm engaged to someone I love very much. I am 36, and he is 44. We get along great, but he's in a rush to get married. It will be my first and his second. We got engaged three months ago, and he wants the wedding to be in February.

My other problem is that he is always pawing at me. He always needs to be touching me or calling me his "beautiful angel." It's good to hear that once in a while, but not five times a day.

I love being with him, but sometimes I need my own space. If I say no, he gets defensive and worried that I'm going to leave him. We spend practically every waking (and non-waking) moment together. I am almost at a breaking point. Help!

- Overwhelmed in Pennsylvania

DEAR OVERWHELMED: I hope you realize that the behavior you are describing is not an indication of love, but of extreme insecurity. His need to constantly touch you, his defensiveness if you say you need some space, and his fear that you will leave him won't change if you marry him.

Ask yourself this: If you have no space for yourself because of his insecurity, is this the way you want to spend a lifetime? These could be symptoms of an abuser.

DEAR ABBY: My husband insists that wearing a white T-shirt when out and about is the same as wearing a colored one with a design on it. I think he's wearing underwear as outerwear and is being too casual.

We do not live in a rural community. We are in a suburb of San Diego. Life is relaxed here, but not that relaxed. Do you have an opinion?

- Dressing Up, Not Down

DEAR DRESSING UP: I do have a thought or two on the subject. If your husband is comfortable this way, leave him alone. Because you are the one concerned with appearances, continue dressing up to create the impression you want, and let him dress down and suffer the consequences - if there are any, which I doubt.