SAN JOSE, Calif. — Stop. You were not "laid off." Your "position" was "impacted" in a "restructuring brought on by business decisions."

And no. You are not "looking for a job" right now. You are "a solution" waiting to connect with some employer who has a "pain, need or opportunity" that you can "satisfy."

Feel better? You would if you had joined three people whom the San Jose Mercury News recently paired with career counselors. The plan: one coach, one hour, one laid-off job-seeker in search of a tune-up. We'd eavesdrop on the exchange and write about it. Then, we'd circle back in a few weeks to see if the advice helped.

With each wave of layoffs, a cottage industry of job-help startups, career advisers and life coaches continues to mushroom. So we wondered, does any of this advice actually work?

While each of our experts sported a unique style, there was plenty of overlap in their messages. In a nutshell: This isn't about finding work. It's about screwing your head on differently, going out on limbs, and making end runs around all the other unemployed "solutions" wandering the job market.

We started with bookkeeper Elise Sandusky, one of the three laid-off Silicon Valley workers the Mercury News has followed since the beginning of the year. She has sent out more than 2,000 online resumes, and she's starting to get it — this ain't working.

Maybe management consultant Abhijeet Khadilkar can jump-start her campaign. He started his job-help network CareerTiger as a way to help friends, and it's still largely a pro-bono labor of love.

"It's a tough market right now," he tells Sandusky, "and that calls for unconventional methods to get your name out there. Employers are looking for someone to help them solve a problem or exploit an opportunity — expand to China, cut supply costs, whatever. So let's focus on what message you're sending."

As Sandusky looks on, he hits the whiteboard ("Much more interactive than a PowerPoint") and doodles out the job-creation chain, from a CEO with a need, to middle managers with a plan, to hiring managers with a posting. "They are creating a funnel, and most job-seekers' resumes flow in through that point. But can we do something different, maybe be part of the research before the job posting is even approved?"

Get upstream, ahead of the torrent of applicants. "But no one's hiring," Sandusky grumbles, leaning back as if waiting for Khadilkar to do a magic trick. So he drills down for details of companies she's worked with in the past — Phillips, PG&E — and roles she's played — quality control, billing, dispatch, operations.

"Let's compose your 'elevator speech,' " he says. "This should go out to the employer before a resume. Don't send a resume first!"

Sandusky looks shocked. "That's a switch."

"When you send out a resume," Khadilkar says, "you hope and you pray — that's not a strategy."

Her homework: Find 30 companies similar to PG&E or who are competing or partnering with PG&E. "Your job is not to go to HR, but to go to people who are doing your type of work inside those companies. Use LinkedIn to find them, request meetings, then compose a message completely customized to that position. Identify opportunities and problems they face. So it's not an interview, it's a sharing of ideas."

After 60 minutes, the whiteboard looks like a treasure-hunt map, a canvas now covered with a graffiti of hope.

"I'm surprised by the no-resume approach," Sandusky says, "but I'm not intimidated. I have no problem trying something new. Obviously, the 2,000-resume approach is not working."

It was Kris Rowberry, the laid-off aviation technician who used to wait hand and foot on the corporate jet set, who first came up with the off-handed job description: "I'm a concierge who sweats."

But it was his mentor, UC-Berkeley-trained management consultant Susan Bernstein, who took it and ran. What Rowberry needed was "a verbal calling card, so that when people hear what you're up to in the world, they want to know more."

A hardworking "concierge" who can gas up a Learjet and unload baggage while stroking egos like Larry Ellison's has a good story to tell. Bernstein was going to help him tell it.

"Instead of 'looking for a job,' " she said, "you need to hone in on 'This is what I do for people and I'm looking for a place to do it.' "