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In politically correct circles they might be called, euphemistically, "strong personalities." Among co-workers, though, irritating individuals are called, simply, jerks - and jerks in the workplace can make office life miserable.
Helen Taylor, employed by a public service company in Knoxville, Tenn., knows this from personal experience. In the past year, the declining economy, general financial stress and even philosophical differences heightened by the extended presidential campaign season turned her otherwise placid workplace into a tense environment. The office seems dominated by people who behave foolishly and inappropriately. The worst, she claims, is her boss.
"I imagine that this man tries to run his department like he does his family [treating] his employees like children with no rights," says Taylor, 58.
Difficult personalities are a workplace staple. In tough times, though, the impact of bad or abrasive behavior can seem even more extreme.
Economic downturns create anxiety and anxiety tends to make people selfish and suspicious, says Alexander Kjerulf, author of the self-published "Happy Hour is 9 to 5."
"In a recession people are afraid to quit their jobs, because they don't know if they can find new ones," says Kjerulf. "This means that jerks can rein supreme in the workplace, because escaping them becomes that much harder."
Jerks come in all types, says Stanford University professor Robert I. Sutton, author of "The No A-hole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't" (Warner Business Books, 2007). A jerk - though Sutton uses a more colorful word choice - stands out by his or her ability to make the target feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized or belittled.
These bad characters essentially suck the energy out of their targets, says Sutton, who is a professor of management science. Workplace stress is bad for employees and employers, leading to higher absentee rates and lower productivity.
Because organizations typically wait too long to fire this type of individual, it's up to the victims to deal with the situation with a clear strategy and emotional fortitude, Sutton believes.
Sutton advises leaving a toxic workplace because the behavior is contagious. Stay and risk adopting the same bad habits, he says. Given the job market, however, many people have no choice but to confront jerks. For them, Sutton advises finding allies to fight back, to give you "more power and more emotional support."
Sutton has created a "No A-holes" support group, of sorts, on his blog, bobsutton.typepad.com. There's a quiz to determine if you are one ("You were a nice person until you started working with the current bunch of creeps. True or False?") or if your client is one ("Nothing that I ever do is good enough for them. True or False.") There's a checklist to determine if your future boss is one (Sign one: "Kisses-up and kicks-down") and there are tips for surviving an "A-hole-infected workplace" ("Escape if you possibly can.")
Sutton even provides a form-based page where visitors can send "ArseMail," with an apology to a co-worker for behaving badly or a sympathy note to send to a friend dealing with a difficult co-worker.
When dealing with a difficult personality at work, Anne Perschel, leadership psychologist and organization change consultant in Worcester, Mass., prefers the direct approach. Her advice: stand up to the offender and say, "You're being a jerk, and you know it."
"Both parts of the statement are important," Perschel says. "The first identifies the problem, but if you end there you have delivered only an insult. By adding the second statement, you call on the better part of the jerk to come forward," she says.
Sometimes a softer approach can be helpful, but the basic principle is to address the softer side of the jerk. She suggests saying something like, "People around here are pretty stressed and some of the things you're doing are adding to that stress. I'm telling you because I believe in your heart of hearts you would not want to make people feel worse."
The situation might be tougher when the jerk is your boss.
Taylor says she enjoyed her work until a new manager stepped into the picture. Her new boss did not bother to review the duties assigned to her previously, Taylor says. Instead, she constantly received degrading comments about the quality of her work.
"My job performance was being rated by a new set of duties that I had never been trained to do or made aware that I should be doing," she says.
Taylor sought counseling that helped her put the situation into perspective and empowered her to stand up for herself. She was advised to track the incidents in detail, including the date, witnesses and quotes and then to make a rational (rather than emotional) case. But Taylor, still demoralized, feels the only solution may be to leave her job.
"Had he taken the time to discuss what he wanted from me, rather than just criticize all that I do, he would have had a content employee committed to longevity and good job performance," she says of her boss. "Instead, he got one that's humiliated, embarrassed, distraught and definitely will soon be gone."
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