'We'll do anything for you - as long as it's legal."

That's a pledge from Sean Davoren, head butler at the Lanesborough, a St. Regis Hotel in central London, where guests are blessed with a butler throughout their stay.

 Davoren and his team of 23 will lay out clothes, take away dirty laundry, polish shoes, run a bath, and chill the champagne. In Davoren's 13 years at this 95-room luxury hotel, which has attracted the likes of George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, he has retrieved a 12-carat diamond ring from a Bond Street jewelry store, arranged an emergency gown selection and seamstress when a panicked guest arrived without luggage before a party at Buckingham Palace, and hunted down wild goat's milk on a distant farm.

"The milk cost $5.75. The chauffeur cost $655 - so it was a very expensive pint of milk," Davoren recalls.

 For my husband, Scott, and I, the good life begins when our butler, Alberto Mascimino, opens the gleaming wooden door to our corner suite with a slight bow and a smile. Once our eyes adjust to the unaccustomed splendor - views of Wellington Arch, an elegantly draped bed, a tufted leather sofa, and a liquor-laden side table stocked with our favorite brands - Mascimino demonstrates a few gadgets and gizmos that would make James Bond proud.

 With the press of a button, a large flat-screen television emerges from a bookcase. A touch-screen in the bedroom nightstand allows us to adjust the lighting, set an alarm clock, control the room temperature - and call a butler, day or night. When we do, our butler, in pinstriped trousers, vest, tailcoat, and tie, will typically respond in three minutes, even though he's not allowed to run.

 Before departing, Mascimino asks whether we have any garments that need pressing, and we gratefully hand over an armful of wrinkled items. He also offers us refreshments, returning shortly with a silver tea service and a plate of biscuits.

 Other luxuries include a pillow menu (hard, soft, or hypoallergenic), personalized stationery and business cards, an extensive list of complimentary movies, and free phone calls to the United States and within Europe. The Lanesborough's spa is stocked with La Prairie and Comfort Zone products. And the elegant Apsleys restaurant offers three meals and the "Best Afternoon Tea in London," as voted last year by the British Tea Council - with a "tea sommelier" to help you with your selection.

Prefer something stronger? The wood-paneled Library Bar serves some astoundingly aged spirits, including the oldest known cognac in the world. Distilled in 1770, this liquid gold sells for $6,555 per 1.7-ounce shot.

 Guests staying in the three-bedroom Royal Suite are entitled to the use of a chauffeured Rolls-Royce stretch Phantom, 24 hours a day. "It's like gliding on air," driver Issy Ismail says. "It's sheer style, the best car in the world to arrive anywhere."

 And when you arrive at the Lanesborough, "We don't say, 'Welcome back,' " Ismail boasts. "We say, 'Welcome home.' "

 Doubles from $778 per night. Three-bedroom Royal Suite from $12,292; request Rolls-Royce Phantom upon booking. Hyde Park Corner. Information: 011-44-207-259-5599, www.lanesborough.com.

Eden Rock Estates

St. Barts, French West Indies

Bono wannabes, check out - and check in to - the Relais & Chateaux resort's Villa Rockstar. The two-story villa's 16,000 square feet offer four master suites, dining facilities for 12, swimming pool, bubbling spa pool, and double garage equipped with Range Rover Sports or Mini Coopers. Kick back in a private screening room, lift some heavy metal in your own gym, and contemplate your next platinum album in a circular bathroom finished in white gold tiles. The best part? Inspired by sun, sand, and surf, beach boys (and girls) can croon some tunes in a fully equipped recording studio. Groupies not included - but you do get a butler.

Villa from $21,500 per night. Rooms at the 34-unit resort surrounded by Caribbean beaches from $702. St. Jean Bay. Information: 1-877-563-7105, www.edenrockhotel.com. 

Hotel Fouquet's Barrière

Paris

Seal a visit to the City of Light - and love - with a kiss when you book the "Paris C'est l'Amour" package at this chic, contemporary boutique hotel at the Champs-Elysées. Passionate paramours are encouraged to re-create Robert Doisneau's iconic image of a cinematic lip lock (Le Baiser de l'Hotel de Ville) with a makeup session for her, a facial for him, and a one-hour photo shoot. The model treatment also includes a chauffeured night-time tour of Paris, welcoming caviar and champagne, breakfast, a champagne dinner at the hotel's Le Diane restaurant, and transportation to and from the airport.

"Paris C'est l'Amour" from $2,200 per night with two-night minimum. Rooms (including butler service) from $1,024. Avenues George V and Champs-Elysées. Information: 011-33-140-696-000 www.fouquets-barriere.com.

Grand Hotel a Villa Feltrinelli

Gargnano, Italy

How tough could it have been for Benito Mussolini to be virtually incarcerated for two years at this late-19th-century mansion, with its fanciful turrets and crenellations reflected in northern Italy's Lake Garda?

Amenities at the estate, which has 13 mansion bedrooms and nine more in three cottages and a boathouse, range from midnight snacks in the pantry to complimentary laundry and valet services and free mini-bar drinks, including beer and wine. A Michelin-starred restaurant, hand-painted frescoes, parquet floors, and a swimming pool would make this a marvelous retreat indeed - especially with roommates such as Richard Gere, who has been known to stay here. But if you really must escape this Italian idyll (named "No. 1 International Hideaway" in Andrew Harper's Hideaway Report for two years running), do it in style in the villa's convertible Bentley, aboard a Riva speedboat, or on the 53-foot pleasure craft La Contessa.

Reopens April 23-Oct. 10, 2010, with rooms from $1,298. Via Rimembranza. Information: 011-39-0365-798000, www.villafeltrinelli.com.

Emirates Palace Hotel

Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

Many upscale hotels offer airport pickups; some will even whisk you to the resort in a helicopter. But how about a property that provides first-class international airfare on Etihad Airways, with day trips aboard a private jet to Iran, Jordan, and Bahrain thrown in for good measure? That's what a million bucks buys these days at the glittering Emirates Palace.

There's more: seven nights in the 7,320-square-foot Palace Suite, a chauffeur-driven Maybach at your beck and call, personalized perfume, a round of golf, deep-sea fishing, and gifts such as rare pearls. You might even catch a concert at the palace, which has hosted Coldplay, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, and Elton John. Concert ticket will cost extra; $1 million just doesn't go as far as it used to.

Rooms from $852 per night. Corniche Road, West End Corniche. Information: 011-971-2690-9000, www.emiratespalace.com. I