Morning Bytes: Comparing Connie Mack, the Bank

"You think Ryan Howard hits them far? I saw Dick Allen hit a ball that cleared Connie Mack Stadium's grandstands, soared over Billy Penn's hat, and landed in New Castle, Del., the next morning."

Sitting at Tuesday night's Phillies-Cardinals game, after getting struck in the head by a tossed beer bottle (true story) but before my kids moved to a nearby section, I pondered the differences between Citizens Bank Park and Connie Mack Stadium.

Most - the food, the scoreboard and other amenities - I like. Some - the constant electronic din, the fans in uniforms, the outlandish prices - I don't.

Anyway, here's my stadium scorecard:

Concessions: No contest. All the essential food groups - hoagies, cheesesteaks and pizza - are available at Citizens Bank. My only complaint is that, at a Philadelphia ballpark, you ought to be able to get a good soft pretzel. At Connie Mack, the cuisine was "urban uneatable": withered hot dogs, ancient peanuts, beer and soft drinks that were flatter than Phils attendance. Advantage present.

Fan dress: When I started going to games, it always struck me as stupid that men wore suits, ties and hats. Now grown men wear uniforms with other men's names on their backs. Tie.

Signage: The things that distinguish one city from another are vanishing beneath a tidal wave of corporate homogeneity. The new ballpark's signs promote Toyota, Canon, Geico, Bud Light, McDonald's, Coke, Motrin. Back then, it was local companies: Goldenberg's, Boyd's, ABC Breads, WCAU, Philco. We knew - and might have been sitting next to - the people who made the Peanut Chews, measured us for suits, baked the rolls, played records at the radio station, and made the TVs. Advantage past.

Parking: There were about 100 spots in a factory lot across 21st Street from Connie Mack. Every other driver risked tires and hubcaps, not to mention ties and hats, on the mean streets. Parking at Citizens Bank is plentiful, and the postgame traffic, unlike Pat Burrell, moves surprisingly well. Advantage present.

Fan behavior: There are always going to be obnoxious drunks. It's just that so much of what happens at Citizens Bank Park - tailgating, omnipresent beer, an overwhelmingly youthful crowd - seems to encourage it. The drunks in ties and hats were pathetic. The drunks in Chase Utley jerseys are frightening. (Fortunately, the bottle that hit me Tuesday was plastic.) Advantage past.

Noise: Quaint as it sounds, fathers used to talk to their kids between innings. There was no imperative to fill every silence with Iron Maiden. Advantage past.

NASCAR note of the week. Can't-miss-radio alert from Jay Busbee of the NASCAR blog From the Marbles:

"For all the New Jersey-area NASCAR fans, I'll be on the In Your Face radio show."

Does radio get any better?

Braman is back. Miami's plans for a new baseball stadium may be scuttled because of a lawsuit filed by Buddy Ryan's favorite owner, Norman Braman.

The 75-year-old former Eagles owner, an area resident, objects to the city's multifaceted, $3 billion "megaplan." He contends, among other things, that the public should have been able to vote on the massive development project.

Could it just be coincidence that the plan includes a new streetcar system and Braman has made his fortune selling autos?

This is newsworthy? Alyssa Milano has a new line of baseball-related clothing, as you might have surmised after the lovely actress' 4,167 appearances on Comcast Sports Network this week to promote it.

Funny, but I don't recall CSN being nearly as supportive when Roseanne Barr came out with her line of competitive-eating garb.