Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Your NewYear’s resolutions — for others

(CATHY RUBIN / Staff Artist)
(CATHY RUBIN / Staff Artist)

In the spirit of tradition, we wanted to hear your resolutions for 2011. But in the spirit of revelry, we thought it would be more fun - and just as futile - if you made resolutions for other people, strangers and celebrities alike. Here are some from your wish list.

Here’s my resolution for ...

... my dog, Chase Muttley: I will never make my mom chase me around the house to take me out for my walk, and I will never, ever pee on her down comforter again! And I will stop eating my dad’s Vibram Five Fingers, because I know they’re expensive and his favorite shoes.

Rachel Ezekiel-Fishbein
Elkins Park


... people who promise to return calls and e-mails: Return calls and e-mails!
... people who say "it’s in the mail": Make sure it is.
... my former best gal pal and sometime partner/sweetie: Be my true friend and make amends.

Randy King
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    ... Justin Bieber: I will hit puberty.
    ... Lady Gaga: I will start wearing nonedible.

    Clay Packel


    ... Tim Burton: I will start making original movies again and stop ruining classics for the next generation.
    ... Mike “The Situation”: I will get a real job and leave my shirt on for more than 10 seconds at a time.
    ... President Obama: I will actually make the “change” that I promised.

    Tom Carney


    ... the local police: Resolve to help out those of us trying to stay fit (and alive) by actually enforcing speeding and yield-to-pedestrian laws.

    Diane C. Moskal


    ... Charlie Sheen: I will stop drinking.
    ... Bruce Jenner: I will not get any more plastic surgery.
    ... Donald Trump: I will hire, not fire employees.
    ... Ryan Howard: I will not swing at bad pitches.
    ... Kanye West: I will not interrupt Taylor Swift giving an award speech.

    Samantha White


    ... the Delaware River Port Authority: We will give drivers free rides on the bridge in 2011 — like they have given us ‘free rides’ for the past 20 years!

    Barbara Reynolds Kelly
    Mount Laurel


    ... the typical YouTube commenter: I’m going to use proper grammar and respect the opinions of others.
    ... the teachers at my school: I’m going to stop blatantly playing favorites.
    ... Stephenie Meyer: I’m going to stop writing books. That’ll do, Bella Swan, that’ll do.

    Alicia Pisano
    Rose Valley


    ... people who use their cell phones while driving: Because it is a dangerous habit as well as a complete annoyance, we will stop. We clearly cannot look at a keyboard and observe the road and pedestrians at the same time.

    Carol A. Pasquarello Philadelphia
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