Stu Bykofsky: Looking for a PHA chief? Look no further
CARL GREENE'S future is as secure as an icicle hanging from a willow branch. Some facts are out; the allegations jar has been opened. The Philadelphia Housing Authority board suspended him Thursday while it looks into the $900,000 he spent to stifle sexual-harassment cases. The feds are nosing around.
CARL GREENE'S future is as secure as an icicle hanging from a willow branch.
Some facts are out; the allegations jar has been opened. The Philadelphia Housing Authority board suspended him Thursday while it looks into the $900,000 he spent to stifle sexual-harassment cases. The feds are nosing around.
Philly likely will soon need another czar to lead the PHA.
If the city wants another tireless, short-tempered tyrant with a craving for praise and self-gratification - I'm your guy.
As to sexually harassing those of the female persuasion - not a chance. I've got a luscious, jealous wife who owns a .38 and is a better shot than me. (Note to self: Don't teach Baby Cakes any more lethal skills.) She's got me too afraid to put my hands on my own naughty bits.
My other selling points:
* I'll work for half of Greene's $306,000 salary. If you keep his $40,000 bonus on the table, I'll take one-third - and no costly out-of-court settlements.
* I have almost 40 years of continuous employment at a prominent Philadelphia institution that (although it wasn't planned that way) turned out to be a nonprofit, like PHA.
* Ten years of what's called "higher education," eight at Brooklyn College (where I majored in "sextracurricular activities" and got it out of my system), followed by two years at St. Joe's (the Hawk will never die!), where I was an undistinguished member of the Society for the Advancement of Management. I was in management at that time. Like drug use, it was a youthful indiscretion. (There is no current drug use, aside from alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, Viagra and Ben-Gay.) The decade of study did not result in what they call a "degree," but reflects my stick-to-itiveness. I worked by day, studied by night, raised a family at the same time. Like Greene, I am a Type-A, 24/7 kind of guy.
* Also a quick study. I learned to use my cell phone in less than three months without finishing the instruction booklet. Did you finish yours?
The big problem with public housing, of course, is that it houses the public, specifically the poor, who are troublemakers, and I can prove it.
You move poor people into high-rises, and what do you get? Filthy, crime-ridden, graffiti-smeared, roach-and-rat-infested hellholes.
You move affluent people into high-rises and what do you get? Society Hill Towers.
Because the PHA must house poor people, I would be a transformative chief executive because I have lived in public housing. I'd like to tell you it was an undercover reporting assignment, but, truthfully, my family was poor enough to qualify for subsidized housing. It was an 1,800-apartment project in New York, not here, but the problems and goals are the same. I have firsthand insights a "degree" can't provide.
Compared to the tenement we had lived in, the project was heaven. It was clean and safe, with green space between buildings so you could breathe.
The housing authority let tenants know that if they acted up, or if their kids did, they'd be booted back to the slums. It was a tough policy, but it resulted in good behavior.
Some enforcement rested with resident associations, which advised management. My project had tenant building reps - like block captains in nonpublic housing - and they did it for free.
I'd take the $100,000 now paid to a single director running a PHA spinoff nonprofit, and buy 200 computers to give to captains. They could use the computers for personal work, but keep in instant touch with management.
I'd demand that anyone going into public housing, especially Section 8, be given an immersion course in how to care for a property and how to behave so as to not enrage your neighbors.
There's more I could suggest, but I don't really want the job. I like my higher-profile, lower-pay job too much.
The point I'm making is that the city should be able to hire, when necessary, housing czars for less than twice the mayor's salary.
And ones who will keep their hands in their own pockets.
E-mail stubyko@phillynews.com or call 215-854-5977. For recent columns: