JUDI DASH
Love taps: Judi Dash and husband David Molyneaux duel in a morning fencing class aboard the Queen Victoria, on a Panama Canal cruise.
We were sailing through the Panama Canal when my husband, David, stabbed me in the chest. "Darn, I missed the heart," he hissed, then lunged again.
Isn't it romantic?
Actually, yes. David's attack was during the morning fencing class on a cruise aboard Cunard's Queen Victoria. And his rubber-tipped sword wasn't nearly as sharp as the words we use when we're really fighting.
Playing, that's what we were doing - joyfully recapturing the sense of fun and humor (and yes, passion, too) we had so appreciated when we were new.
Finding, or renewing, that delicious lightness of being together is, to many couples, the very essence of a romantic escape.
If making like Pirates of the Caribbean is not your cup of aphrodisia, how about learning a new sport together - golf, for instance, at a desert mountain resort with couples spa treatments to soothe your aching muscles and stimulate the senses, and a romantic dinner on a scenic tee, overlooking the lush, rolling fairways?
Or, consider snuggling double in a single chaise on a powder-soft Caribbean beach in front of your oceanside room, your skin caressed by cooling trade winds, as you watch a blood-orange sun slip slowly into the sea.
Too tame, you say?
Then seduce each other all over again at a resort-based couples' sensuality workshop, where sex is part of your daily homework.
Or, go for a Playboy-esque romp in a Las Vegas hotel "fantasy suite," where the color scheme is bordello red, the rooms are equipped with "dancer" (stripper) poles, and the showers provide multiple nozzles, overhead light shows, and glass walls that go from frosted to transparent with the flick of a switch.
If you're still with me, come along on some sizzling escapes for lovers.
But don't stop here. Use your imagination and do your own research. Good Internet resources include Hideaways International, Cruise Critic, SpaFinders - or Google away to your heart's content.
Cruise a sea of love
An ocean voyage has stellar romance potential. But making a ship your own personal love boat takes planning and an eye for intimate opportunities once you're afloat.
By booking a cabin with a private balcony (a major trend in cruising, and our No. 1 priority when considering ships), we could make savoring the sea a private affair throughout our Panama Canal cruise aboard the 2,000-passenger Queen Victoria.
As with most ships, we could have room service at no extra charge - and boy, did we ever, dining on our balcony for afternoon tea (this was a proper British ship), late-night snacks, and always for breakfast. Who, after all, wants to start a mellow morning together by schlepping to a crowded buffet line or waiting to be served in a big, formal dining room? Better to roll out of bed to the gentle wake-up knock of a smiling waiter bearing orange juice, coffee and a fresh fruit platter that we could enjoy in our bathrobes on our own little patch of outdoor turf.
And what could set a more tender tone for the night than a sunset dinner on our terrace, smooching between bites, observed only by the rising moon?
We never turned on the cabin TV, and rarely went to productions in the gilded theater, although the Queen Victoria's private boxes, a first in cruising, were tempting for their canoodling potential.
We didn't spend all our time alone, of course. Our fencing lesson with six other couples was a fun way to mix and mingle while still keeping the focus on each other.
After dinner most nights, we took to the dance floor, energetically faking tangos, as couples who actually knew what they were doing gave us a wide berth.
Oh, and we publicly renewed our vows, signing up with 14 other couples for a sweet (and free) group recommitment ceremony conducted by a priest, who restricted his religious readings to the lovely "Love is patient, love is kind" passage from Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians. Each of us, married four to 51 years, received a signed certificate of celebration.
Too bad David and I didn't think to book a side-by-side couples' massage, each with our own masseuse, in the ship's peaceful spa. Or an hour in the Rasul Cleansing Chamber for Couples, a lovely room with a wall of windows overlooking the sea, where a masseuse gives a brief lesson in basic strokes, then leaves you alone to do as you like with the room's massage table, steam room, shower, and little pots of seaweed mud, sea salts and fragrant massage oils.
David didn't order flowers for our room (I'm allergic, anyway), book a ship photographer to follow us around like celebrities for a personalized photo album, or hire a violinist to surprise me on our balcony with our favorite song (next time, eh, David?).
But he did take my hand as we strolled the deck our last night at sea, and tell me how lucky he felt to be my husband - music to my ears that no violinist could match.
Great but cheaper. A romantic cruise needn't take a queen's ransom. Local and online cruise agents, such as cruisecritic.com, ecruises.com and cruiseone.com, offer bargains, usually last-minute or way in advance. Check out the ship, itinerary and cabin description before you commit.
