Posted on Fri, Jul. 3, 2009
Q: Regarding the 50-year-old you gave advice to about "beefing up" her Internet profile to attract a better class of suitors, it AIN'T going to work! You two may know people who have had successful relationships from the Internet, but they are few and far between. I suggest she do two things: Close her profile and join a social group - a dance class, a literary group, anything that will give her a better selection and might have a common interest to boot. May I also suggest that she stop looking and let them find her. It usually works out that way. At least it did for me!
Steve: I also suggested she join a social group and try speed-dating, as the more opportunities you create, the better your chances. But you are right; there is nothing magical about the Internet, and the odds of finding Mr. Right there are no better than anywhere else.
Mia: How many men do you meet in literary groups? It can be hard to meet a man at a dance club. I stand by my earlier response. Your tactics may work, but that's old school! The Internet is the way to go these days. You can meet lots of men without leaving your home. Try doing that at literary group. You still can't beat the Internet in terms of sheer exposure. But you're right about social groups. Even if you don't meet Mr. Right, they can add to your life in many other ways.
Q: When is it appropriate for a boss or co-worker to touch you? My boss is always putting his arm on mine or around my shoulder or on my back when he talks to me. It doesn't seem sexual, but I'm not real comfortable with it. I've also worked at places where everyone hugs everyone else for the least little thing. That doesn't seem appropriate either. What are the rules on this?
Mia: The next time your boss touches you, scream. When he looks at you surprised say, "I'm sorry, I'm just so jumpy." When he touches you again, do the same thing. Repeat this often enough and he will stop. Promise. As for all the social hugging going on these days, I'm not down with that either. Remember the hoopla when first lady Michelle Obama hugged the Queen of England? It's best to keep your hands to yourself.
Steve: There are laws against sexual harassment, of course, and company policies on things that fall short of that but could still be offensive. A boss should not touch or hug a subordinate unless touched or hugged first or if such touching is appropriate (i.e. a hearty handshake.) *
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