This wine will stand up to funky veggies

 Buzz: I hear wine people hate asparagus. Is that because you're scared of "spears" or don't like being "stalked"?

Marnie: Funny, Buzz. I like asparagus as much as anyone. What you probably heard is that asparagus and artichokes are notoriously challenging for wine pairing. Some people call them "wine killers" because they can make wines taste funny.

Buzz: I wouldn't mind a funny wine. Most are way too serious.

Marnie: Not ha-ha funny, funny as in not right. Both vegetables feature uncommon chemical compounds that alter our perceptions of food and drink.

Artichokes contain cynarin, which tricks our taste buds, making everything we eat or drink next taste oddly saccharin sweet. The effect is very weird with dry wines. Asparagus is high in sulfur compounds that can leave wine tasting thin and bitter.

Buzz: I better stick to beer with my next plate of asparagus.

Marnie: That's one strategy that works, but wine lovers just need to switch to wine styles that can handle these funky vegetables.

Buzz: OK, so what styles can get funky with the artichokes and asparagus?

Marnie: The most useful rule of thumb is to stay away from red wines and oak-aged wines. Young, unoaked white wines, like pinot grigio and sauvignon blanc, and sparkling wines, like prosecco, can tame these wine-killers with ease. Some wines are even vegetable specialists, like Austria's Grüner Veltliner. Grüner makes brisk herbal-scented dry white wines that pair brilliantly with asparagus in particular.

Buzz: Grooner What-Leaner? What a silly name.

Marnie: It makes more sense in German. It is literally the "green one from Veltlin," an Alpine valley that links northern Italy and Switzerland. However, many people find the tongue-twisty name a challenge and call it Grü V, or "groovy," for short.

Buzz: Ah, I got it. If you wanna get funky, first you should get groovy.