David: Hi, y'all. It's David Hiltbrand from the Inquirer. It's high noon in Philly and high time to chat about last night's "American Idol" which used our fair city as a backdrop. Let's bring in the Inquirer's ineffable Amy S. Rosenberg to get her opinion. Amy, what did you think?

Amy: Hey David. I thought we had sworn this off forever. But you know, I'm wanting to give a shout out to our girl Temptress: You're the best. You were robbed. Come on over to the newsroom for a group hug, sweetie.

David: I can't get her face, wet with tears, out of my mind.

Amy: I'm thinking of her mom, too. Seriously, there was so much to worry about after last night. Temptress's mom. Angela Martin's daughter. A whole new syndrome, Rett's Syndrome. I was googling that for like an hour. I thought this was supposed to be escapist entertainment.

David: I think there was a concerted effort by Idol to get away from making fun of the untalented and to focus instead on the human stories. Oh, the pathos!

Amy: Yes, it was like they'd gone all Paula on us. Randy, Paula and Simon were getting along almost as well as John, Hillary and Barack on the other channel. What is this world coming to? OK, what was up with our friendly throaty tour guide, John Lewis. Hey John!

David: He was great. How many people compare themselves to Paul Roberson AND Eddie Vedder. But I loved that after he was dismissed, he kept blaming the song choice.

Amy: Nigel Lythgoe the producer swore that they never put anyone on who they believe is conning them. I tried to put myself inside their minds and hear what they hear. And you know, I almost got the John Lewis thing. He really hears Paul Robeson. Though he does spend most of his day dressed as Paul Revere. He'll be a sensation in Olde City.

TV Watcher: Who was your favorite performer last night (good or bad?)

Amy: I'm all about Chris Watson from Dover Delaware. I'm proclaiming him the next American Idol. Loved his whole thing. Lower Delaware was well represented last night, with Jonathan Baines from lovely Smyrna, or, as they say, Suuumyrna. The last one though seems already Simon's favorite. Brook White, the perfect nanny. Ugh.

David: I dug that stalker guy from New Hope who kept drawing closer and closer to Paula, step by step, as he sand, "If she was a bathtub. I'd caulk her."

Peter: If you could get the judges and Ryan Seacrest on "Moment of Truth," the new Fox lie-detector show, what would you ask them?

Amy: Simon, how lame have most of the winners been? He's a truth teller already, tho. Hiltbrand?

David: I'd ask Ryan who his favorite singer is. I have a feeling it's Celine Dion or Judy Garland. It would be like like that Ford Focus commercial: "Play Smashing Pumpkins"

Philly08: Why do they include so many train wrecks in the audition shows? A few are funny, but they seem to show more and more of the bad ones. I watch the show to see the talented performers, not the people who just want their 2 min. of fame. I'm almost ready to swear off the audition shows.

Michael: Do you think any of last night's singers will make the final 24?

Amy: Philly08, I agree with you. I'm much more interested in seeing the ones who might break through than the others. Though then you don't get the pleasure of hearing If you were Columbo, I'd Peter Falk you. But then there's Absecon's Milo Turk, of the No Sex Allowed. He's a bit of a fake, though, he's an established comedian who's been on Jimmy Kimmel, if that makes him established.

Amy: On another note, Hiltbrand, what was up with Yuka? More Borat or Andy Kaufman?

David: Let me answer the first question first: Idol really is two shows every season: the audition rounds and the actual competition. But they hide the real talent. I was amazed at the end when they said 29 singers had been promoted from Philly to Hollywood.

Amy: Out of 20,000, that's not so great. By the way, our tour guide is James Lewis, not John. Sorry Jimmy! As for keepers, let's not overlook our Jersey shore homeboy Joey Catalano of Mays Landing. My daughter made me promise not to talk about anybody's weight, but he was a big loser.

David: I felt warmly about most of last night's "losers": Yuka, who seemed like a sweet guy and even Alexis the glitter-girl. Although I could have lived without that Princess Leia chick. She was on camera for far too long.

Amy: Yes, she was annoying. I was distressed by Alexis. I'm not sure her tirade will help get her into Veterinary School, though. But she was sincere. Yuka seemed crestfallen. A lot of the storylines seemed like retreads though. Like the backup singer (for Taylor Hicks), looking to make it to the front of the stage. Um, where have we heard that one before.

David: Yeah, a familiar ring to the proceedings. Maybe that's why ratings were down 15% from last year's opener.

Nikkib: American Idol is a joke. I'm beginning to think that it's just for people's entertainment and not so much to find the next best voice! Simon is just so washed out and Paula looks like she's on drugs or drunk. And Randy says the same old things. I don't even know why people get so excited every year.

David: I got excited for a minute there. I thought Nikki McKibben from Idol's first season was checking in.

Michael: Amy - you didn't like Brook White, the perfect nanny?

Amy: Never seen an R movie, or had a drink, but she apparently watched the Seinfeld yada yada episode. We did like when she sang the Barney song "I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and bananas!"

David: I thought that was pretty cruel to send away slave-girl Benjamin to have his chest waxed and then after that painful procedure, they didn't let him sing a single note. Cold!

Amy: That was horrible. Painful on so many levels. We averted our eyes.

David: Best line of the night?

Amy: Simon: "You what's funny about this country? You're genuinely happy when someone you know does well. I couldn't do it."

David: Nice. I liked when Simon said of Alexis's song: "It was all a bit possessed."

Amy: Yes. Worst line, again from Simon, to the aforementioned Barney-quoting nanny. "We can bring you over to the dark side. Give me a week, Brooke." Ick. He really looked like he meant it, too.

David: I'm going to go eat, eat, eat apleas and beninis. See you next time. Keep the faith, Amy.

Amy: So long Hiltbrand. It's been a rare pleasure. I'm going to go find Temptress and practice our tackles.