Dave on Demand must eat his own words – and someone else’s

"Under the Dome" is based on Stephen King's best-selling novel about a small town that is suddenly and inexplicably sealed off from the rest of the world by a massive transparent dome. The town's inhabitants must deal with surviving the post-apocalyptic conditions while searching for answers to what the barrier is, where it came from, and if and when it will go away.

The numbers are in. And I’m in big trouble. BIG.

In Saturday’s column, I predicted that after last week’s tedious installment of Under the Dome, viewers would be leaving the CBS thriller in droves.

But I didn’t stop there. Noooo! I said that if the numbers for last night’s fourth episode didn’t drop into the range of 8 million, that I would eat the collected works of Stephen King. (Under the Dome is based on King’s hernia-inducing novel.)

Now I’m left wondering what beverage would go with a dogeared paperback copy of The Shining.

Nearly 11 million people tuned in on Monday night, slightly more than the previous week.

And the numbers are only going to increase from there with Bruce Willis’s post-show announcement on The Late Show that he will be guest starring in future episodes. (See video, below)

I’m thinking I may go at King’s tsunami of text chronologically, using Carrie as an hors d’oeuvre. But don’t worry about me. I picked up a technique watching Joey Chestnut scarf 69 hot dogs on July 4th: dip the pages liberally in water as you gag them down.

You can bet that next time I make a wager it will involve a minor poet and not the most prolific author in the history of the English (and any other) language. BTW, from where I sit, Salem’s Lot looks about 150 pages too long.

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