Ellen Gray: Networks find crime fighters a sure bet for high ratings

THE UNUSUALS. 10 tonight, Channel 6.

HARPER'S ISLAND. 10 p.m. tomorrow, Channel 3.

SOUTHLAND. 10 p.m. tomorrow, Channel 10.

THERE'S NOT much mystery in why ABC and NBC both have new cop shows this week.

All you need to do is look at the Nielsen Top 10.

Of the season's most-watched shows that don't involve singing, dancing, football or Andy Rooney, only one, ABC's "Desperate Housewives," isn't primarily focused on law enforcement.

The other three: CBS' "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," "NCIS" and "The Mentalist."

"Criminal Minds" is at No. 11.

Yes, crime's been very, very good to CBS (which celebrates with a 13-week killing spree on "Harper's Island" starting tomorrow). Little wonder that ABC and NBC would like to take a bigger bite out of it.

As long as they can fight the bad guys on their own terms.

For ABC, which launched "Castle" last month and aired its final episode of "Life on Mars" last week, quirky crime fighters continue to rule, with tonight's premiere of "The Unusuals" just adding to the impression that someone at the network really misses the '70s in general and "Barney Miller" in particular.

Created by novelist/screenwriter Noah Hawley, "The Unusuals" is what star Amber Tamblyn (yes, "Joan of Arcadia") calls "an eccentric procedural."

"We exist in a slightly more magical New York than is probably real," her boss, Hawley, told reporters in January, not long after mentioning that his intention had been "to try to reinvent the genre."

Hawley, who cited two of the best cop shows ever, "Hill Street Blues" and "NYPD Blue," as models (and included a shot of "Hill Street" alum Bruce Weitz on "General Hospital" in one scene), might want to hold off on the patent application. The one episode I've seen of "The Unusuals" felt unreal and unoriginal.

Too bad, because Hawley's assembled some terrific players to populate his precinct of supposed misfits, from Terry Kinney ("Oz") as the sergeant who plucks Tamblyn's Casey Shraeger off hooker duty to investigate a cop's murder to Harold Perrineau ("Lost") as a detective who's convinced he's marked for death and won't take off his bulletproof vest. Adam Golberg ("2 Days in Paris") plays his partner, who might really be marked for death, thanks to a brain tumor he's not ready to talk about.

Tamblyn's character, a former prep-school girl, meanwhile finds herself partnered with an ex-ballplayer (Jeremy Renner) and charged with investigating corruption in the precinct.

There's no rule that says police work can't be funny - there were weeks when "NYPD Blue" was the funniest show on TV - but laughter that comes from dark places needs to be earned.

"The Unusuals," delivering bad news like punchlines, isn't even on the job yet.

If it weren't for a character who apparently comes from a more privileged background than the average cop, NBC's "Southland" might be "The Unusuals' " complete opposite.

Set in Los Angeles and created by Ann Biderman, a screenwriter ("Smilla's Sense of Snow") whose credits include three episodes of "NYPD Blue," "Southland" is also a production of John Wells and Christopher Chulack, whose last show, "ER," occupied its 10 p.m. Thursday time slot for the past 15 seasons.

Wells, whose cops-etc. show, "Third Watch," didn't make it quite that far, uses an "ER"-like device in tomorrow's premiere, which focuses on a day in the life of rookie Ben Sherman (Ben McKenzie, who's shortened his first name since "The O.C.").

Shot pseudo-documentary style, with onscreen identifiers for some characters and locations, the show begins where "ER" did, with a slightly dazed newbie experiencing sensory overload. Like Noah Wyle's John Carter and "The Unusuals' " Casey Shraeger, Ben also seems to come from some money, a situation that's bound to create conflict but may also add to the uncomfortable sense that he (and we) are watching bad things happen from a too-safe distance.

No one, on the other hand, would seem to be safe on "Harper's Island," a 13-week homage to the slasher genre that's more "Scream" than "Saw."

Not that I've ever seen "Saw": I couldn't even watch the last 15 minutes of "Braveheart." That I managed to gallop through the nine increasingly addictive episodes CBS provided for review suggests the time I once spent playing with fake body parts behind the scenes on "CSI: Miami" paid off. Or that I'm way more ghoulish than I'd thought.

Christopher Gorham, who played Henry on "Ugly Betty," plays another Henry here, a prospective bridegroom whose wedding to an heiress (Katie Cassidy) will take place on the island where he used to wash her father's boats, and where seven years earlier a serial killer knocked off the mother of Henry's best friend, Abby (Elaine Cassidy), who's returning to the island for the wedding.

That's all you need to know. The killer, who makes "24's" Jack Bauer look like a pacifist, will be your cruise director.

Now be careful out there. *

Send e-mail to graye@phillynews.com.