Q: Me and my bae been together three years and really love each other. We also have a son and are expecting another baby soon. We get along real good and I really think we should get married, but he don’t think he’s ready. I’ve been patient, but it’s hard because he bought a new car and does whatever else he wants but tells me he can’t afford a ring. I’ve always wanted a big wedding. I kept thinking he was going to propose over Christmas when our family was around, but he didn’t. I’m 27 and he’s 29. How much more time do you think I should give him?
Mia: The sad truth is that if he really wanted you to be his wife he would have married you by now. He may love you, but it’s not enough to take the next step. Instead of pressuring him to buy a ring and propose, you need to focus on raising your son and creating a stable home for the next one. After this baby is born, don’t have any more until you figure things out.
Steve: Stop thinking about marriage, which obviously isn’t going to happen. Start thinking about the law. Hire a lawyer and file a lawsuit that requires your boyfriend to contribute money for your children. Tell your man that you love him, but since he’s not going to marry you, it’s time for you to legalize your children. Good luck!
Q: I just came home from the doctor where I went to get tested for disease since I just found out that my husband cheated on me with a co-worker during a conference. I’m devastated. I thought we were the perfect couple, but our whole life was a lie. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I don’t know what to do next. He keeps texting and calling and saying he loves me. Would I be a fool to take him back? I have always heard once a cheater always a cheater. This is the first time I have ever caught him in anything like this.
Steve: “Haven’t you heard about The guy known as the cheater He’ll take your girl and then He’ll lie and he’ll mistreat her.” Sorry. Great song in 1966. (http://bit.ly/2qpmYab) Cheating happens. Stupidity. Liquor. Old girl/boy friend. If you love him and he loves you, it’s worth another chance. But emphasize ONE more chance. If it happens a second time, then you do have a cheater, just like Bob Kuban says in “The Cheater.”
Mia: I’m so sorry you are going through this. You did the right thing about going to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. What you do next is completely up to you. You don’t have to decide right now. Get professional counseling to help you figure out the next step. Good luck!