‘Payne’ still just a game

Basing movies on video games is like basing the world economy on adjustable rate mortgages.

Yeah, there's a quick payoff, and the smart guys probably get their money out the first week, but in the long run, isn't the whole process bound to be exposed as a fraud?

"Super Mario Brothers?"

"Doom?"

"Resident Evil" has yielded an entire trilogy, each entry worse than the last.

When will folks realize they've been had?

Not until next week, hope the makers of "Max Payne," another laughably bad movie based on a popular video-game title.

Mark Wahlberg has the title role as police detective Payne, a cop angrily mourning the murder of his family, and ruthlessly tracking the few leads left to him (shades of "the Punisher," a movie's that's actually better, if you can believe it).

The grim, self-serious tone is set in the opening moments, when mad Max baits a group of subway punks, hoping that one might have a lead on the now-cold case, ignored by the department.

Payne is frustrated by the dead ends, and this becomes a bit of a joke, since the connections between his wife's murder, a new addictive street drug and a Big Pharma outfit (apparently the city's only employer) are blindingly obvious to everyone in the theater BUT Payne.

In lieu of an involving narrative, director John Moore, a talented visualist, tries to hook the viewer with atmosphere that wavers between the real and the surreal.

The city is awash in junkies frightened by gargoylelike visions, and Moore's computer artists do their best to make these hallucinations effective.

At the same time, he gives the movie a de-saturated digital look meant to suggest gritty reality.

That's futile, because, really, how seriously can we possibly take this? The guy's name is Max Payne. Is he related to Major Payne?

Hollywood probably figures if it can make real movies out of comic books and graphic novels, it can do the same with video games (increasingly hyped by gamers as "cinematic," which says more about the decline of movies than advances in the artistry of game designers).

But if there's a way, Hollywood hasn't found it.

Makes you wonder if they're looking, or just looking for a quick buck. *