"TRESPASS" stars Nicolas Cage, Nicole Kidman and a cast of thousands.
Of Botox injections.
Look, I don't want to be mean, but you've got people in this movie who can't move their upper lips. It's bizarre.
And ironic. There's a plot point about a hypodermic needle filled with a paralyzing chemical, and when one actor holds it to the neck of another, you're thinking: Too late, bub.
"Trespass" is a home invasion thriller featuring Cage and Kidman as a wealthy couple held prisoner in their own home by a group of masked thugs who believe that the house contains cash and diamonds.
It's meant to be a work of escalating tension with a few sneaky twists, but it plays like a borderline comedy - the invaders turn out to have a host of individual problems that render them hilariously ill-suited to the task at hand.
One invader enters the home, immediately disrobes and starts smoking crack. She says to one of the residents: "Do you think because you're rich your better 'n me?"
No, I think I'm better 'n you because you showed up for a precision burglary naked and smoking crack.
Really, this is a hair away from being an Adam McKay comedy, with Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly and Paul Rudd as the gang that couldn't shoot straight. And that's literally true. Never have so many guns been fired at such close range with such negligible effect.
It makes the recent "Straw Dogs" remake, another home invasion "thriller," look like a veritable work of art. And a groundbreaking one. Strange but true - "Trespass" is the second movie in a month to weaponize the nail gun.
And by no means the best.