The story of a dorky kid and a wish-granting rock

Exuberance alone will lend sparkle to a kids' movie. But it exhausts itself quickly, a cinematic syndrome confirmed by Shorts, the latest film from Robert (Spy Kids) Rodriguez.

Shorts takes off like Usain Bolt but ends up bent over and panting, well short of the finish line.

Our hero, Toe Thompson (Jimmy Bennett), is a dorky 11-year-old with heavy metal on what he describes as his "hillbilly teeth."

He may be the school bullies' plush doll, but, as he proves in the voice-over narration, Toe has a droll sense of humor. In fact, he is reminiscent of a childish Tim Allen, both rhetorically and facially.

He lives in an affluent suburban gulag. His preoccupied parents (Jon Cryer and Leslie Mann) both work for a monopolistic corporation owned by the ogreish Mr. Black (James Spader, in a role that fits him like a second skin).

All their lives change drastically when Toe gets his hands on a wish-granting rock. Actually, everyone in the community gets their hands on it at one time or another, including Toe's sister (Kat Dennings), young Loogie (Trevor Gagnon), and a germ-phobic scientist (William H. Macy).

The twist (and you may already have seen this coming) is that you have to be very specific about what you wish for, the solution over and over again being far worse than the problem.

Shorts creates an irresistible first impression. It's imaginative and energetic, with a novel storytelling technique that shuffles chronology. For a time, it has the charm of a Goonies set in the anything-goes CGI era.

Then the cracks emerge. The graphic gross-out visuals are perfectly aimed at the movie's young target audience. But the script will go right over their heads. A grade-schooler delivering lines from Scarface - with Pacino's slurry accent? I don't think so.

The kids are menaced by all manner of scary monsters, including giant, voracious crocodiles that sprint around on two legs. But the worst thing that ever happens to Toe and the gang is that they get slimed.

Like Jumanji, Shorts runs out of momentum before it's half over. That leaves it treading slapstick and killing time until its strained and preposterous big finish.

It's like Shorts raided the concession stand and then has to sit slumped in its seat long after the sugar buzz wears off.EndText

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