Lisa Scottoline: Twelve Hundred of My Closest Friends

I have good news to report for the world.

People are awesome and getting even better.

How do I know this?

Because of a completely unscientific study conducted every October at my house, in the form of a massive party for complete and total strangers.

Here's how it works.

As you may know, when I'm not writing fun columns like these, I write novels that involve murder, mayhem, and the Philadelphia suburbs.

They're fictional.

Allegedly.

Specifically, I write three books a year; one publishes in July and is like these "Chick Wit" columns with Francesca, one is a domestic thriller that comes out in April, and one is a Rosato & DiNunzio mystery, which comes out in August.

I'm the Jekyll and Hyde of authors.

Dark Lisa writes thrillers, and Light Lisa writes jokes.

So, whatever your mood, read me.

I can make you happy or homicidal.

Just ask Thing One or Thing Two.

I'm happy to say that book clubs read my books, so to encourage and reward such exemplary behavior, Francesca and I host a party in October for book club members who have read my latest April book. The party is at my house, because Mother Mary taught me the best way to show people you care about them is to have them over and feed them carbohydrates.

We started the party 11 years ago, when only 100 people came.

Only.

Now we've grown to a two-day party, with 600 book club members each day.

That's 1,200 guests total, which is approximately 20,283,829,012,938,383 carbohydrates.

I live on a farm, so I have plenty of room to accommodate everyone, except for my dogs and cats, who are imprisoned in various bedrooms for the weekend. Francesca's dog, Pip, is permitted at the party, since he's the only one with manners, obviously because he has a better mother.

To get to my point, if you invite 600 people to your house, the only way to greet them properly is to hug them.

I'm a hugger.

So is Francesca.

And what that means, in terms of the book club party, is that we hug every guest when he or she arrives.

By the way, men come to the book club party, too.

I personally enjoy hugging them very much.

But they don't smell as good as the women, who are positively fragrant.

Now, in terms of my unscientific study, I am here to report to you that 11 years ago, when I started hugging unsuspecting book club members, they didn't know how to react. Some looked startled, others simply drew away. They weren't expecting to be hugged by a complete stranger, which is a thoroughly reasonable expectation. Plus, they'd read only the Dark Lisa books, so they didn't know what to do when Light Lisa tackled them with love.

There were plenty of Awkward Hugs.

An Awkward Hug is the worst thing ever. You know how it goes: One person is the hugger and the other person gasps for oxygen.

I've had marriages that were one long Awkward Hug.

Boy, bye.

But over the years, I've noticed that people at the book club party have started hugging back, and not only that, they want to be hugged. In fact, our most recent book club party was last weekend, and many book club members said, "Where's my hug?"

And these were people who were book club party virgins.

They had never met me or Francesca, but they were happy to be hugged, and we all hugged one another like crazy.

And I'm telling you, this is a change that I have seen over 11 years.

Either we need more love or we're giving more love, but, either way, this is a miraculous and wonderful improvement for all mankind, womankind, and book kind.

By the way, if you're wondering how long it takes to hug 600 people, the answer is two-and-a-half hours. That means I got and gave five hours of hugs last weekend, and I'm betting it will add five hours to my life.

And, seriously folks, if you ask me the reason that I not only read books but write them, it's to connect with people. That's the highest and best purpose of the arts, and I believe there is nurturance, happiness, and love in that human connection. Book clubs are a way for people to connect to one another through a book, forming a soul-to-soul bond that can become a friendship lasting 10, 20, and even 30 years. I've seen it happen, and if you're in a book club and you agree with me, let me hear from you.

And if you're not in a book club, why not start one?

Then come over to my house and get a hug.

Love is better than hate, at all times.

Look for Lisa and Francesca's new humor collection, "I've Got Sand in All the Wrong Places," and Lisa's new novel, "Damaged," in stores now.

lisa@scottoline.com.