Dr. Ruth, the woman who loosened us up

The petite foreigner who got Americans to talk frankly about sex doesn't exactly fit the criterion for the Forbes Under 30 Summit this week at the Convention Center.

She's three times the age of most of the speakers, who include lavender-haired Kelly Osbourne, fashion blogger Tavi Gevinson, and the brothers Hanson and Winklevoss. But Ruth Westheimer, 87, is just as cutting-edge as ever.

Her new book, The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre, offers insight into her childhood (saved from and orphaned by the Holocaust), time as a sniper in the Israeli army, and as a student at the Sorbonne, all before she launched her hit U.S. radio-turned-TV show, Sexually Speaking.

Off the air, she taught at Yale, Princeton, and Columbia Universities, and became the subject of the Off-Broadway play Becoming Dr. Ruth, coming in November to the Walnut Street Theatre's Independence Studio on 3. Recently, she discussed what's new and what's the same in and beyond the bedroom with this reporter, a comparative prude.

Q: What's your job at the Forbes conference, other than fending off the advances of younger men?

A:

I'm going to do a mock therapy session with a couple of people who work together [Tom Lehman and Ilan Zechory, cofounders of Genius]. Like a good therapist, I will hear what they have to say, and then I'm going to have something to say about their relationship.

What's changed since your show ended?

I have 74,000 people following me on Twitter. But I only do the talking and Pierre [longtime collaborator Pierre Lehu] does the typing. I'm not computer literate at all.

What's changed in romantic relationships?

The vocabulary has changed: Nobody says she's "with child." She says she's pregnant. But some of the issues of finding the right partner are the same. What has also changed is that women have heard the message: I'm not the only woman now who takes her own responsibility for sexual satisfaction. Today, we have more sexually satisfied women.

There are also less men who are premature ejaculators. Men have learned that they can help themselves not to be premature ejaculators.

Oh. OK. How about outside the bedroom?

People hold hands, and in the other hand they have their iPhones. If you don't have conversation, if you don't talk to people you are involved with, it will change the entire flavor of the relationship. It will change the sexual experience.

Couples need to make sure there is time for conversation. . . . I want their faces to light up when their partner walks into a room - and not their faces lit up by their phones.

What are your fondest memories of your show?

I certainly loved Burt Reynolds. I loved Joan Rivers. I really loved a lot of people. I was careful not to ask personal questions. Sometimes, they revealed their personal lives, and that was OK. I didn't say no.

When people ask me about my sex life, I say, "Next question, please." You would never see me on a reality show.

You have, however, talked about your childhood. Do you attribute your strength to your hardship?

When I was 101/2 years old, I was saved because I was sent to safety [in Switzerland] by my parents. One and a half million children did not survive World War II. People like myself have an obligation to contribute something to the world. Many of us went into the helping professions: nurses, social workers, doctors. I did not know my contribution would be to talk about sex all day long.

So, what is the secret to a happy relationship?

It's not a secret, but people have to work at their relationship. It has to constantly be evolving. It can never be boring. Boredom in the bedroom or in the relationship is the worst thing.

Attendance at the Under 30 Summit is by invitation only.