A quick guide for Eagles fans to trash-talk the Patriots at the Super Bowl

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady gives a shout as he takes the field to warm up before the AFC championship NFL football game against the Jacksonville Jaguars, Sunday, Jan. 21, 2018, in Foxborough, Mass.

There are two types of Eagles fans: Those who believe  trash-talking the Patriots will only motivate America’s most-hated football team and those who have already started Twitter fights with Pats fans.

We’re not recommending a course of action, but here’s what you have to know about the Patriots if you’re going to make fun of them.

Tom Brady is one weird dude

Camera icon Charles Krupa
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

There are a lot of reasons to make fun of Tom Brady. He plans out his schedule three years in advance. He snacks on avocado ice cream. He refuses to consume things like white flour, white sugar, nightshade vegetables, and pretty much all fruit (except for the occasional banana in a smoothie). He’s also never eaten a strawberry. He thinks drinking lots of water — two and a half gallons a day, to be exact — helps prevent sunburn. He has been known to distribute UGGs in the Pats locker room. He once caused a Pats teammate to pull a hamstring by yelling at him during a charity football game to benefit disabled kids.

Need we say more?

QUIZ: How should Eagles fans behave at the Super Bowl?

Pats head coach Bill Belichick has about the same amount of personality as a banana peel

Don’t take our word for it, just check out this video of Belichick’s lack of emotion on the sidelines as the Patriots rack up touchdown after touchdown against the Dolphins.

He’s also really not a talker.

Camera icon Elise Amendola
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick swings a whistle during a team practice.

The Patriots have lost the Super Bowl twice to the Giants

The Pats have been to the Super Bowl seven times under Belichick. They won five times, and lost to the Giants in 2007 and 2011. Somehow, Brady was out-quarterbacked by a guy who makes this face.

Camera icon Bill Kostroun / AP File
New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning has beaten the Patriots in the Super Bowl — twice!

You let us down, Patriots, the two times we cheered for you to pull through. We haven’t forgotten.

The refs are their best friends

During last Sunday’s game against the Jaguars, the Patriots were called for only one penalty. The Jaguars were called for nine.

It was the fewest penalties called on one team in a playoff game since the 2011 AFC championship, when the Patriots were called for one penalty in a win over the Ravens.

And look who’s the first person to congratulate Brady after the win. The Eagles are going to have to beat the Patriots and the refs next weekend, and you’d better believe it’ll be an uphill battle.

There’s no beating around the bush: The Pats are cheaters

In 2007, the Patriots got caught for illegally taping the New York Jets’ defensive signals during a game, which led the NFL to fine the team $250,000 and Belichick $500,000. This controversy, now known as Spygate, caused some former Eagles staffers to question whether the Pats had taped them before the Super Bowl in 2005, making that loss sting even more. Even shadier? The NFL destroyed all the evidence shortly after finishing its investigation.

And then there’s Deflategate, when the league said the Patriots deliberately used underinflated footballs in the 2015 AFC championship game against the Colts. The NFL suspended Brady for four games, slapped the Patriots with a hefty $1 million fine, and made them forfeit their first-round pick in the 2016 NFL draft, as well as their fourth-round pick for the 2017 draft. Because of the controversy, the NFL now requires all footballs to be tested before the game.

No one likes a cheater, and if the Patriots try any antics next Sunday, you’d better believe they will be dealing with hordes of angry Eagles fans.