IF YOU HAD a friend who could never manage to get a decent relationship going and you suspected you knew why, whether it was her desperation, workaholic tendencies or a stank attitude, would you tell her?

Are you sure? Not everyone would risk it. I think of myself as pretty frank, but there are certain opinions people are better off keeping to themselves.

Enter Steve Ward and his mom, JoAnn Ward. The stars of a VH1 reality- TV dating-advice show called "Tough Love," these Philly-area matchmakers make it their business to keep it real, as the saying goes.

They've had years of experience helping singles connect - first in the Delaware Valley and now, thanks to their show, they're fielding requests for help from all over the U.S. and beyond. Besides the show (its second season debuted on Sunday), the dating duo are partners in the Philly-based Master Matchmakers (mastermatchmakers.com), and are busy promoting a book, "Crash Course in Love" (VH1 Books, $17.99). The Wards also are casting for a spin-off show, "Tough Love Couples," in which they'll help troubled couples decide whether to stay together or split up.

The daughter of a tractor-trailer driver and the district manager of a beauty-supply shop, JoAnn grew up in Oxford Circle, married for the first time at 19 and raised Steve and his two siblings mostly in Montgomery County. Steve, 29, who joined his mom's matchmaking business seven years ago, lives in the Art Museum neighborhood. In 2004, Steve was one of our Daily News' Sexy Singles.

I caught up with the Wards recently and got an earful about what singles should be doing to increase their chances of making a good connection.

Steve: "If you don't want to be single anymore, there's something you can be doing different, like going out of your comfort zone. There's millions of different things. Thomas Edison once said that opportunity is often missed because it is dressed in overalls and disguised as work."

JoAnn: "It's the same mentality as for football. You've got to change the plays. If you're doing the same thing and it's not working for you, you've got to change it up. You can't keep on doing the same thing."

And don't even think about waiting for that special someone to call you. The Wards are all about empowering people to make the first move.

JoAnn: "I'm going to wait for him to call me? Why? This is 2009. Don't wait for things to happen. Make it happen. You've got to go after it."

Steve: "I don't understand why men are afraid to do that."

JoAnn: "Or women."

Steve: "I love getting picked up by a woman. You just say, 'I'm sorry but I couldn't help noticing you. If you're single, would you like to hang out sometime?' What's wrong with that? I don't see why people are so reluctant to take a chance."

JoAnn: "If you're single, you shouldn't be . . . That's how I met my second husband. I met him at the gym. I walked right up to him and asked him out. I put him right on the spot. I knew he was single. I'd asked around. Then, I walked right up and said, 'What are you doing Saturday night? Let's get together. What's your number?' So, I called him and I took him to the Bahamas for the weekend. That's the whole thing. That's what Steve and I talk about in the book. You've got to keep it exciting. Make it fun. That's what you've got to do. If you keep living in fear, you are never going to meet someone. You've got to take cautious chances."

Steve: "Be cautiously optimistic."

Be bold but use tact.

Steve: "A lot of people in Philadelphia are blunt to a fault."

JoAnn: "Don't be weird."

Steve: "In season one, [of 'Tough Love'] there was a girl who said she's a vampire. Unless you're at a Halloween party, don't be telling people you're a g------ vampire."

JoAnn: "He's 100 percent right about that. It's not that you want to change who you are. But first impressions are everything. We met a guy the other day who said he likes fencing. Do you know anybody who likes fencing? Especially in Philadelphia. You've got to be aware of what you say unless you're just trying to shock the hell out of somebody by saying you're a vampire. Be conscious about being a little weird."

The proliferation of dating sites and social-networking sites have expanded the network of options available to single people. The Wards warn that you shouldn't let them lull you into a sense of complacency. You still have to go through the process of getting to know someone.

Steve: "People in general are getting very lazy. Nobody wants to do the work. They just want to rush to judgment. They lose patience . . . With all the information technology that surrounds us, people want instant gratification. That's the society that we now live in. People are looking to either commit or dismiss somebody faster than ever before."

JoAnn: "People judge things too quickly. There's nothing wrong with Internet sites and technology. You just have to do it the right way . . . You have to be very careful. There's such opportunity. [People] can just click 'next.' . . . You need a photo where you're all dressed up, where you look like when you go to a wedding or a black-tie event. The next one should be of you in a pair of sweatpants and a baseball cap with your hair in a ponytail. Kind of casual. People put pictures of themselves with them and their friend and their family or them and their cat or their dog. That's fine. But never put pictures up of you and your friends. They don't need to know that information. Don't give out too much information."

If you've been sitting on the sidelines, it's OK for single person to get readjusted to dating by agreeing to date Mr. He'sOKforNow.

Steve: "She needs to get comfortable dating again. She has to go out with someone she's not as attracted to . . . [that way] I don't think she'll be as nervous or as scared about being herself. Eventually, she'll be able to date someone at her level."

JoAnn: "They think they need healing time."

Steve: "The best advice my mom ever gave me, she says the best way to get over a woman is to get under a woman. You've got to move on."

That's real tough-love advice.