So, in tonight's Lifetime movie, Wisegal (9 p.m.), she signs up with the Family to run a Brooklyn nightclub and smuggle suitcases full of cash down from Canada every now and then.

It's great for her two boys. They get Uncle Vito and Uncle Al and Uncle Bones and Uncle Carmine and Uncle Frankie, and the little boys can only wonder what he and Mom are doing in the bedroom, though we get a glimpse, of course.

It's surprising Sonny Corleone isn't running around somewhere. Oh, wait, he is. Thirty-six years later, James Caan still makes a great wiseguy, and now he's Sal, the Don, with whom you do not want to mess.

"You can walk away anytime," Sal tells Patty. "No hard feelings." Even her youngest, Joey, knows that's a crock.

Her mother, Angie, is more to the point: "Family this, family that. I told you. They're not family."

No, they're crazy killers and criminals, and finally Patty realizes, as they always do on Lifetime: "Oh my goodness, my real family's in jeopardy."

You don't watch Lifetime for surprises, but there is one here. Alyssa Milano, all 5 feet, 1 1/2 inches of her, is perfect as the tough-gal mom, all feisty and take-charge, even if she can't see the future like good witch Phoebe Halliwell, whom she played in the WB's beloved Charmed.

If she could see the future, she would have known that Frank's friendly funeral director job was just a front, and she wouldn't have gotten involved with these thugs. Jason Gedrick, all angry and handsome as usual, is fine as Frank.

So it isn't The Godfather, but you could do a lot worse on a Saturday night.

Wisegal gets an average rating of 5.3 out of 10 on the Internet Movie Data Base. The four female voters gave it a 10. The eight males who voted gave it a 3.

Guess which star is almost naked in the sex scene.

Jonathan Storm:

Wisegal

Tonight at 9 on Lifetime