Tattle: Marriage malfunction: Janet's secret wedding

 JANET JACKSON has had another secret wedding. This time around, she married uber-hot Qatari businessman Wissam Al Mana.

In a statement to "Entertainment Tonight," the newlyweds said: "The rumours regarding an extravagant wedding are simply not true. Last year we were married in a quiet, private, and beautiful ceremony."

She's no doubt hoping that the third time will be the charm. Her first marriage to singer James DeBarge was annulled after just a year in 1985. She then married Rene Elizondo in 1991 and somehow kept the union secret for nine years. It's unclear exactly how long Janet, youngest of the talented Jackson clan, has been hitched this time around.

Here's a sweet detail that the couple shared with "ET:" Instead of exchanging wedding gifts, they made contributions to their favorite children's charities. "We would appreciate that our privacy is respected and that we are allowed this time for celebration and joy. With love, Wissam and Janet."

In other Jackson family news, big brother Jermaine has changed his name again. This time, he wants to go by Jacksun instead of Jackson. It's supposedly for artistic reasons. The last time he changed his name was back in 1989 when he converted to Islam and started calling himself Mohammad Abdul Azi.

You'd think Jennifer Aniston was just showing off her incredible style when she stepped out in a red Valentino ball gown at Sunday night's Oscars.

But here's the real reason behind her fashion decision: "It fits, it's comfortable and it's easy to pee in," Aniston told People magazine. "You just lift, hoist and do a couple squats!"

It was a gorgeous dress, but we really could have lived without that visual.

Somebody had better remind Fantasia that there's no such thing as bad publicity.

The "American Idol" Season 3 winner reportedly was infuriated by Jet magazine's decision to publish a 10-year-old publicity shot of her on the cover of a recent issue.

Tasia, as her fans call her, responded by writing on Instagram, "This saddens Me!!! It is clear that this picture is 10 Years Old and JET Magazine puts it on the Cover!! After I send them the NEW LOOK AND DIRECTION . . . SAD!!! I WANT A PUBLIC APOLOGY FROM JET. Now im not sure if the interview is correct. SEE!! America they and use me as they crash Dummy BUT NO MORE. IF I DONT STAND FOR SOMETHING ILL FALL FOR ANYTHING."

Jet issued a statement Friday saying it stood by its decision to use the photo. But according to Richard Prince's Journal-isms, a journalism industry blog, Jet editor Mitzi Miller told Facebook friends, "The fact that I wasted an hour of my workday writing a news release to address an issue created by a person who cannot even read it is just . . . #whyiwannaBahousewife."

Not to sound like a doting mother, but the thought of Best Actress Oscar nominee Quvenzhané Wallis innocently Googling herself and discovering that someone called her the c-word makes me furious.

It's going to happen. If not today, then some day soon. On the biggest night of her young life, The Onion described the 9-year-old in the most vile way you can describe a female.

The Onion, which specializes in satire, removed the tweet Sunday night, and on Monday, chief executive Steve Hannah issued an apology on Facebook, calling the comment "crude and offensive - not to mention inconsistent with The Onion's commitment to parody and satire, however biting."

-Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Blog: philly.com/HeyJenJanet.