Chad Johnson's self-destruction continues

MIAMI DOLPHINS receiver Chad Johnson was arrested Saturday night, accused of head-butting his newlywed wife, reality-TV star Evelyn Lozada, during an argument in front of their home outside Miami.

Evelyn, who appears on "Basketball Wives" even though she's married to a footballer because she once was engaged to a hoopster, is thinking of changing her name to OUCHocinco.

Chad and Evelyn were at dinner and she confronted him about a receipt she had found for a box of condoms, said Davie, Fla., police Capt. Dale Engle.

Hmmm, she thought, Chad never uses condoms at home.

The argument got heated and continued in their car (when the rubbers met the road) until they arrived in their driveway.

Then Chad head-butted Evelyn, she told police. Police said she had a gash on her forehead. Chad said she head-butted him.

Johnson (who changed his last name back to Johnson from Ochocinco after his July 4 wedding to Lozada), was held Saturday night in Broward County Jail and was released Sunday on $2,500 bail.

He is charged with simple battery, domestic violence, which is a misdemeanor.

Dolphins officials were "aware of the situation and are in the process of gathering of relevant information," team spokesman Harvey Greene said.

Johnson's agent, Drew Rosenhaus, declined to comment.

Another case of what-could-he-possibly-say.

TATTBITS

"American Idol" winner Jordin Sparks will headline the opening-night program Aug. 27 at the U.S. Open tennis tournament.

She'll show off her backhand and teach kids how to play at the net.

No she won't — she's going to sing.

Sparks will perform a song from her upcoming movie, "Sparkle," which includes the late Whitney Houston's final screen performance. She will also sing the national anthem.

According to the Boston Globe, Beantown rock-blues legends the J. Geils Band, is mostly blues these days.

That's because John Geils Jr., who co-founded the group more than 40 years ago, trademarked the name "J. Geils Band" in 2009 and didn't tell his bandmates until last November.

Now the other members of the group, led by longtime member Peter Wolf, are set to tour again at the end of the month — without Geils, who doesn't want to go on the road — and he's suing them for trademark infringement.

Reps of the group — whatever they end up calling themselves — say the tour is still on.

Beyoncé performed her song "I Was Here" on Friday in the U.N. General Assembly Hall in honor of World Humanitarian Day, which is Aug. 19. A music video of the performance will debut the same day.

Anderson Cooper hosted, saying with a laugh: "Is this what happens at the U.N. every Friday night?"

The Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch rapped that he wouldn't "sell my songs for no TV ad."

His will, filed three months after his death from cancer at age 47, shows he wanted to make sure that held true after his death.

It says his image, name, music "or any artistic property" he created can't be used for advertising.

Yauch's will leaves his roughly $6 million estate to his widow and daughter.

At least two suspects tried to break into a Marin County, Calif., juvenile-detention facility in what investigators believe was an unsuccessful attempt to free teenager Max Wade, who's accused of stealing TV restaurateur Guy Fieri's Lamborghini.

It was Wade's 18th birthday.

The attempted break-in happened at Marin County Juvenile Hall about 4:30 a.m. Friday when staff heard banging on the walls and saw "at least two people out there with a sledgehammer," said Sheriff's Lt. Barry Heying.

The suspects fled before more than 40 deputies and other officers arrived at the scene and searched the buildings and neighborhood.

Investigators believe the suspects were trying to free Wade (or at least wish him a happy birthday), who, in turning 18, was scheduled to be transferred to the county's adult jail. Wade is charged with stealing Fieri's $200,000 sports car from a San Francisco car dealership in March 2011. For good measure, he also faces attempted-murder charges for trying to gun down a couple in Mill Valley, Calif., in April.

He has pleaded not guilty to charges of attempted murder, vehicle theft, burglary and other crimes. Charged as an adult, he could face up to 30 years in prison if convicted of all counts.

Investigators found holes cut into two perimeter fences, a sledgehammer, bolt cutters and a damaged window at Wade's cell, according to the Marin Independent Journal. They also discovered a backpack that contained a change of clothes.

Authorities did not have evidence Friday that Wade helped plan the operation (oh, come on, it was a coincidence it happened on his birthday and the sledgehammerers knew which cell he was in), but the investigation is ongoing. Prosecutors said he could face additional charges if he is linked to the breach.

Michael Daly, the county's chief probation officer, said he plans to review security at Juvenile Hall, but said it's impossible to hammer through the building's concrete walls and extra thick windows.

"Everyone should know it's not very easy to break into a detention facility," he said.

No, not everyone.