Tattle: A Mrs. in the Universe upsets The Donald

MISS UNIVERSE is in the news and not because Miss Mexico won the title in Las Vegas.

It would have been news if she'd won the title in Arizona.

No, Miss Universe is in the news because of a Lithuanian pageant called Mrs. Universe.

Donald Trump isn't amused.

Has Trump ever been amused?

The U.S.-based Miss Universe Organization - co-owned by Trump and NBC Universal - filed suit yesterday in Lithuania claiming copyright violation by the organizers of the Mrs. pageant that was held there Saturday.

"Our claim is very simple. The title was used illegally because all rights belong to the U.S.-based company," Erikas Saukalas, an attorney for Miss Universe, told reporters in Vilnius.

"We will also demand compensation for losses. I believe the court will evaluate the damage done to this trademark," Saukalas said.

Oh, please. What damage could have been done to Miss Universe? The pageant was shown on Lithuanian regional cable.

"Universe is a generic word, so the U.S. company's claims are ungrounded," said Evelina Gruzdiene, director of the pageant.

Jennika Hannusaari of Finland won Mrs. Universe - and the surname spelling competition - which featured wives from 22 countries.

Two days later Jimena Navarrete was crowned Miss Universe in a show that boasted 83 contestants and was seen on global TV.

But if the Donald has a chance to garner more ink - like the way he inserted himself and his Muslim Miss USA winner, Rima Fakih, into the "Ground Zero Mosque" controversy days before his pageant - he's going to go for it even if it means forgetting that one of the main thrusts of the Lithuanian pageant was awareness of human trafficking, a serious problem in many East European countries.

Pageant participants held a discussion on the topic in Lithuania's government, and presented a project, "Beauty Against Human Trafficking," as a possible idea to combat the problem.

In the Miss Universe pageant, winner Miss Mexico came out in support of the Internet.

Sham marriage trial

Speaking of Mexico, a Mexican-born actress and her musician husband lied about their marriage to immigration officials so she could stay in the U.S., a federal prosecutor told prospective jurors yesterday.

In his opening statement, Special Assistant U.S. Attorney James Left showed a wedding picture of Fernanda Romero and Kent Ross but said the appearance was deceptive.

"There was a real ceremony but nothing else about it is real," Left said. "It was a sham marriage."

Romero, a singer, actress and model who has attained moderate fame in her homeland, and Ross, a musician and manager of a pizza delivery business, who has attained moderate fame with lovers of pepperoni, have each pleaded not guilty to charges of marriage fraud and of making false statements. If convicted, they could each face five years in prison. Prosecutors claimed that since their nuptials in June 2005, the couple have maintained separate homes, dated other people and repeatedly lied on immigration forms and to federal agents about their relationship.

If all the prosecution has is cheating and lying, that sure sounds like a marriage to us.

* Lawyers representing Michael Douglas and his ex-wife, Diandra Douglas, tangled in an NYC court yesterday over her claim that she's entitled to half his earnings from "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" (to open Sept. 24).

The couple's 23-year marriage ended in 2000. (He's now married to Catherine Zeta-Jones.)

Their big-bucks divorce agreement gave Diandra the right to share in proceeds from spinoffs and other projects related to work Michael did while they were married. That, her camp says, should include director Oliver Stone's "Wall Street" sequel, in which he again plays Gordon Gekko.

But his lawyer says his ex is misinterpreting the agreement, and it doesn't apply to the "Wall Street" sequel. It wasn't on the horizon when the two split, and he didn't then have so much as a guarantee that he'd be in a sequel if one were ever made, said his attorney, Marilyn Chinitz.

Since their divorce, Diandra has made $6.3 million from her stake in residual proceeds from other projects, Chinitz said.

"When does it stop? . . . She's not Mrs. Michael Douglas" anymore, Chinitz told the judge. "It's enough. It's time for Ms. Douglas to move on and let Mr. Douglas move on and enjoy his life, without having to concern himself with someone trying to claw back moneys that they're not entitled to."

"She has her own identity, and she's proud of it," countered Diandra's attorney, Nancy Chemtob. "My client is not greedy. The exact opposite is true. Mr. Douglas is seeking to shirk his financial responsibility that was entered into when he signed this contract."

There's nothing more comical than a lawyer claiming someone else has profited "enough."

Tattbits

* By the time you read this,

Lindsay Lohan may be out of rehab.

Ninety days really does go by fast . . . when it's not 90 days.

* A man was arrested at Paris

Hilton's L.A. home early yesterday, after the socialite said he tried to break into her house.

Paris said on her Twitter page: "So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes [sic]. Cops are here arresting him."

One day a thief is going to break into some fool's house and she's going to Tweet: "So Scary, just got woken up to a guy tryi"

* George Michael faced a Lon-

don judge yesterday and was warned that he may face jail time after driving his car into a Snappy Snaps photo shop while under the influence of drugs.

Michael may have faced jail now except the case against him didn't have enough time to develop.

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

E-mail gensleh@phillynews.com.