About all those NSFW makeup names

Here in the newspaper business, we have standards.

High standards.

Some publications adhere to the Associated Press Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law. We have our own in-house guide, the Inquirer Stylebook, which also is used by the Daily News and Philly.com. In it, you'll find such gems as "menswear. But: women's wear." And: "It is the Cathedral Basilica of SS. Peter and Paul."

The Stylebook also covers obscenities, vulgarities, and profanity. In short, "we refrain from publishing such language out of respect for our readers." If ever we were to use such language, it would be because "there is a compelling journalistic purpose."

Some of my most-recommended makeup products push those standards on occasion.

One of my favorite eyeshadows of all time is by makeup brand Urban Decay. It's a lovely, taupe-y neutral called DTF.

I cannot tell you in this, a family newspaper, what DTF means. I would tell you to google DTF, but your  results would most decidedly not be safe for work.

It really is a beautiful eyeshadow, though.

Nars Orgasm — a peachy-pink shade so popular it now comes as a blush, lip gloss, and illuminator, among other products — is absolutely beautiful.

I have seen grown women blush when requesting it at a makeup counter.

Kat von D Studded Kiss Lipsticks offer saturated color in an edgy package, and I'm a fan. Shade Underage Red is spectacular, but how do I explain that one to my daughters?

And then there are two of my most-worn mascaras: Benefit They're Real! and Too Faced Better Than Sex.

Yeah, it gets awkward recommending them to women at church on Sunday morning.

Some of the names may not be downright inappropriate, but they certainly can raise eyebrows.

"Really? Urban Decay Perversion?" a colleague asked after reading one of my recent columns. ("It's awesome mascara!" I replied.)

Or, how about the Hourglass Confession Ultra Slim High Intensity Refillable Lipstick in the First Time or I Lust For or When I'm Alone?

Yes, these names are designed to shock, but they also make them memorable. One of my favorite lipsticks is the Artist Rouge Lipstick in M103 from Make Up For Ever. I never remember that name.

"Orgasm," though: Who could forget?

Alison Smith wants a job naming makeup products when she grows up. Got a burning beauty question? Email asmith@philly.com.