Joe Biden, here's where you should hang out when you come to Penn

Vice President Joe Biden, campaigning at Drexel University in September, said Monday: "I'm not committing not to run. I'm not committing to anything. I learned a long time ago, fate has a strange way of intervening."

Hey, Vice President Biden!

We heard Tuesday that you confirmed that you’ll be calling the University of Pennsylvania home, post-vice presidency. While we know you’re no stranger to Penn — you went to your granddaughter Naomi’s graduation last year;  daughter Ashley received a master's degree from the Ivy league institution; you gave a commencement address in 2013 — that doesn’t mean you’re as familiar with West Philly as you could be. We came up with a few places for you to visit when you trade in D.C. for University City.

To get acquainted with Penn life, go to a game at the Palestra, hit up a show at punk rock frat Pilam (um, plz invite us to this), or take part in the annual Econ Scream.

Or go straight for the snacks.

Part of the reason you've become the internet's wacky uncle is your love of ice cream.

Good thing, Veep, cause you’ve just hit ice cream heaven. Go local at Little Baby’s or get a scoop of Weckerly’s at the Green Line (if you feel like venturing east, hit up Weckerly’s brick-and-mortar spot on Girard). Feeling more traditional? There’s a Ben and Jerry’s right on Penn’s campus. Sick of ice cream? Time for to hit up the Lil Pop Shop for a popsicle instead.

But man can’t live on ice cream alone. You say you’ll be at Penn “for foreign policy,” so you should get to know West Philly’s international food scene. We know you’ve already hit up Vietnam Cafe:

But have you gone to sister spot Fu Wah for the tofu hoagie?

And what about some falafel (try Saad’s), Lebanese (Manakeesh also has ice cream, BTW) or African (stop by the Ethiopian mainstay Dahlak or the Sengalese Kilimandjaro)?

Look, we also hear you’re a big sandwich fan — you near lost your mind when Delaware’s Capriotti’s expanded to D.C. — but we can just picture you trading jokes with the lovely counter guys who work at Koch’s Deli while snacking on a classic Jewish hoagie. We know your fave at Capriotti’s is the Bobbie, made with turkey, stuffing cranberry sauce, and mayo. Good thing you just need to wait around for the turkey gobbler at the two Wawas close to Penn’s campus.

And we know you don't drink, but we'd be remiss if we didn't point you in the direction of Bui's Lunch Truck for the hangover special.

You’re not just here for the food, right? We know you love playing with dogs, so much so that you hurt yourself while wrasslin’ with your German Shepherd, Champ. You’ll have to become a regular at Clark Park’s Dog Bowl, where pups and their owners have lots of room to run around.

The Clark Park can get a bit sunny and we know you’re loyal to Ray-Ban aviators. Good thing Modern Eye’s University City store carries your brand.

Look, change is tough. We know you’re going to be missing your bestie, Barack Obama. He’ll only be an Amtrak ride away in D.C. while Sasha finishes high school (dig how close Penn's campus is to 30th Street Station!). But, we've gotta get serious here for a second, VPJB: your birthday friendship bracelet game was weak last year, and we frankly think it's time to step it up. Try some classes at the University City Arts League for that DIY touch.

Finally, we know you love quiet reflection. (Because there was a meme about it, and clearly the internet has taught us that all memes about your life are true.)

There quiet a few spots on Penn's campus think big thoughts: Check out the Biopond, the gorgeous Woodlands, or Fisher Fine Arts Library, which happens to be near university President Amy Gutmann's office. 

Now, remember: Have fun. Do your laundry. And call us if you need anything.