Dave on Demand: Idol Recap

Last night's results show was a painful reminder of just how frustrating and hokey 'American Idol' can be.

We got our first group performance, a medley of Michael Jackson songs. Save it for the 'Idol' tour, kids. Every week we have to watch a bunch of rank amateurs stumble through a hastily arranged and choreographed song and dance.

It's like a dinner theater production of 'Seven Brides for Seven Brothers'.

That of course was followed by the season's first Ford commercial , using the finalists as bright eyed and bushy tailed automotive shills. Always a demeaning ritual.

I don't care how many times Ryan Seacrest refers to these as 'music videos', I say they're ads and I say the hell with them.

Then we got a lengthy plug for the film 'Red Riding Hood' which opens today. Ryan Seacrestdiscovers the film's lead actress, Amanda Seyfried,  sitting in the front row of the ' Idol' audience. What a coincidence.

Because just the day before, the finalists all attended a screening of the film.' Idol' took cameras inside the darkened theater to tape the kids as they  watched the movie.

Remember to act scared when you get the cue. Anyone who visibly startles or covers their eyes gets a box of Raisinets. Just don't chew when the camera is on.

Well, at least they got to meet Lance Bass on the red carpet.

The highlight of the night was Jennifer Lopez teaching Adam Lambert how to do the Dougie. Incorrectly.

If this show biz thing doesn't work out for Seacrest, he can always get a job inflating air mattresses. Give the guy any amount of space and he'll fill it with hot air.

This is how it's going to be for the rest of the season: a 60-minute show built around a three second announcement. Last night:  Ashthon is leaving us.

Hey, I know this sounds like I'm bragging (because I am), but if you look at yesterday's blog you'll see that I correctly predicted the bottom three – Karen, Hayley and Ashthon.. So I got that going for me.

The result underscored one of 'Idol''s stupidest conventions: the judges' save. (Ashthon, as you may recall, was one of three singers given a second life by Randy et al.)

If the viewing public snubbed a singer one week, you think they're going to reverse themselves the next? The judges can grant as many reprieves as they want. It's a pointless form of life support.

You got the least votes for a reason. Deal with it.

Seacrest…….out!