CBS provided the big TV event of the week by having the producers of its biggest sitcom, Two and a Half Men, trade places with the producers of its biggest drama, CSI. I'm just curious: Who was the genius at the network who thought this sounded like a good idea?

It was like asking a surgeon to switch jobs with a car mechanic for a day: an experiment that was destined to end badly.

First of all, Two and a Half Men doesn't handle a murder mystery well (although it was nice to see John Shea as the investigating detective. He played Lex Luthor on Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman). And those visceral CSI-style moments - most of which involved following morsels of food down young Jake's throat - looked sillier than Osmosis Jones.

The episode revolved around the revolting suggestion of incest between guest stars Robert Wagner and Jenny McCarthy. (Memo to CSI producers: That theme may work in Sin City, but in a sitcom setting, it's really nasty.)
The yukked-up CSI was even worse, built around the murder of a crude and monstrous sitcom star (think Roseanne) played by Katey Sagal. Diedrich Bader had the doltish Tom Arnold role.

It was a gross outing with vodka-soaked tampons, an autopsy that consisted of pulling out one implant after another, and a lot of dark inside-TV humor and bad puns. ("So the clot doesn't thicken, but the plot does.")

The casts on both shows had no idea what to do with the material, which added an additional layer of artificiality to the proceedings. Chuck Lorre, the creator of Two and a Half Men, may have summed it up best. "We managed," he said, "to make a mutt out of both shows."

I love you, Alex P. Keaton. Did you see who was playing Gaby's new renter on Desperate Housewives? Justine Bateman, who is best-known as Mallory on Family Ties.

Your bonus trivia point: Like the aforementioned John Shea, Bateman also had a recurring role on Lois & Clark as Sarah.

Girls gone wild. Who is in charge of stunt casting at the networks this season - the guys at TMZ?
Lindsay Lohan on Ugly Betty? Britney Spears (again) on How I Met Your Mother? Paris Hilton on My Name is Earl? It's the attack of the bimbos. Don't miss the season finale of Back to You with special guest star Amy Winehouse.

A gay foothold. It struck me seeing the ABC prime-time reunion of Ken Olin and Patricia Wettig on Brothers & Sisters that we've come a long way since their last series, thirtysomething. On that show, two gay characters were shown talking in bed, but one of them had to have a foot on the ground at all times.

This week, on B&S, Kevin not only proposed to Scotty, but he gave him a big smooch as well. Maybe it was just a concession to the past, but both men were kneeling on the floor at the time.

Selling out. I hate it when commercials appropriate good music. Take the spot where Kelly Ripa creates kitchen magic with the help of her Eletrolux appliances to the theme of Bewitched. Or the Mother's Day commercial for the lottery with Gus, the most obnoxious groundhog in Pennsylvania, which clearly rips off the theme from Leave It to Beaver.

Hands off, Kelly and Gus! You have to earn the right to music that good.

Say that three times fast. The funniest joke of the week was a throwaway sight gag on The Simpsons. As the family arrives at the Sundance Film Festival, where Lisa's documentary is a sensation, a banner above the street in Park City, Utah, reads:

"Sundance Film Festival: Where Parker Posey Meets Parka-ed Posers."

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Contact staff writer David Hiltbrand at dhiltbrand@phillynews.com or 215-854-4552. Read his recent work at http://go.philly.com/daveondemand.