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Good advice. Also, usually "the spark" being extinguished has to do with a third party. I bet he is either ineterested in someone else, in the flirtation stage with someone else or already involved with another. Demand to know the truth about the situation, then do what is best for you and the children.
Sounds like the Husband is being "brutally" honest about how he feels. The "spark" needs to go both ways.
If he is constantly the "sparker", and the flame doesn't light the candle, well, eventually the flint wears out.
The most powerfull position is on your knees.
Sometimes in a situation such as this a person may forget their selfworth and feel helpless and at the emotional mercy of the other person.- if at all possible i think you should ask for a trail seperation and work on yourself instead of living in hopes that your husband will have a change of heart. let go and take care of yourself and your children...
Man how I can relate to this letter. My husband and I have been married for 15 years too with 2 sets of kids, none together and I fell like this man. I don't want to have to pay all the bills, that's why I stay but it's exhausting emotionally and now physically to have a house with no laugter, no intimacy, no fun, nobody wanting to visit and even going to the same church. The strain of putting on the face is enough. What happens though TheDude when you get up and the other person hasn't changed and don't want to? I need help too with this letter
He's cheating dummmy.
I don't understand that counselor. You should definitely change counseling. You cannot go to the counselor who you and your husband were seeing together. The counselor should have excused him/herself and referred you to a colleague, that would be the ethical thing to do. Individual counseling is about your mental health so go find someone else, who focuses on you.
I don't understand that counselor. You should definitely change counseling. You cannot go to the counselor who you and your husband were seeing together. The counselor should have excused him/herself and referred you to a colleague, that would be the ethical thing to do. Individual counseling is about your mental health so go find someone else, who focuses on you.
This is what happens when the wife becomes a mom. Not in the literal sense but the emotional sense. We are now indoctrinated to smother and overprotect our precious little snowflakes that it becomes almost impossible to feel any passion for each other. My wife and I talk about this all the time. She has become mommy and no longer my wife. If you can't handle both, the relationship will fail. I love my kids with all my heart, and do and will do everything I need to do to support, protect, and nurture them, but I and all of us need to realize that we HAVE to leave times for ourselves to keep a healthy and passionate marriage. And besides, maybe the wife cut her hair and put on a few pounds - that will kill it too.
The guy has definitely met someone else. Otherwise, he would be willing to try to work on the marriage.
You need more information from him. Why does he feel this way? What has changed. Also look for the subtle signs of cheating, going out more "with the guys". Dressing up to go out, cologne, etc. Im not saying he's cheating but its possible. Its also possible that his feelings have changed and he is legitimately trying to get out of the relationship. You need to dig deeper girlfriend........
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I don't think he's cheating. I think she's frigid and has shot him down 1000s of times over the years. He's probably reaching middle age and has decided he wants and deserves better. When a guys says "the spark is gone" it means "my needs aren't being met", not "I'm cheating".
phillyjeffsr- I agree 100%... sad but true.
phillyjeffsr... you should try being a wife and a mother and hold up a career all at the same time. Don't think it's cool to throw in the towel over a few extra pounds either. Being a woman is rough. When you take your vows it's "for better or for worse,"not "for better or for worse as long as you look as hot as you did when you were 25." Complaining about not having time together is one thing, but complaining about a haircut and weight gain? That's just unrealistic expectations, and it's just unfair to the woman who gave you your children.
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