She wants to go down the aisle with her daughter
DEAR ABBY: I am getting married to the man of my dreams, "Jon," next month. I have a 6-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and she told me she would like to walk me down the aisle instead of being our flower girl. I love the idea, and so does Jon.
I will have to talk to my dad about it, because I know he was looking forward to it although we do not have a close relationship. How do I communicate to him in an appropriate way that my daughter will walk me down the aisle and not him?
- Confused Bride-To-Be
DEAR CONFUSED: Because you aren't close to your father, this may not come as a shock to him. However, if he was asked to walk you down the aisle, he may be very hurt and it could cause a rift.
Be as diplomatic as possible when you break the news. Start by saying, "I was talking about the wedding with little 'Jennifer,' and she came up with an idea Jon and I think is adorable. Instead of being our flower girl, she wants to walk me down the aisle. We feel it would bring our little family even closer together. I hope you don't mind."
DEAR ABBY: I have a small home-based business making baking extracts that I sell at our local farmers market. Occasionally, a patron will look over my stock and ask me how I make them. I am unsure how to answer the question in a way that won't have a negative impact on future sales.
Baking extracts are not difficult to make, but the process is time-consuming and the ingredients are expensive. I don't want to give away the details of my production process, yet I don't know how to say so without seeming rude. Any ideas?
- Perplexed in the East
DEAR PERPLEXED: Smile at the questioner and reply, "That would be giving away trade secrets - but I can share one of them: I make them all with love."
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.