Tatt's all, folks! Pierced German denied entry for Dubai-ous reasons

NEARLY 80 YEARS ago, Groucho Marx sang of "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady."

Here's a sample of the lyric by E.Y. Harburg, better know for the songs he wrote for "The Wizard of Oz" a few years later.

"When her robe is unfurled, she will show you the world,

If you step up and tell her where.

For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree,

Or Washington crossing the Delaware."

Well, being heavily tattooed was no laughing matter for Rolf Buchholz, whom the Guinness Book of World Records says is also the person with the greatest number of piercings (453). We will assume that many of those - especially the hundreds around his genitals - occurred while being anesthetized by Guinness.

Anyway, Buchholz, whose face is embellished with horn implants and more than 100 piercings, said yesterday he was refused entry to Dubai without reason, forcing him to skip a planned appearance at a nightclub.

Rolf was traveling to the Middle Eastern commercial hub for the first time last week to appear at a circus-themed venue that woos partygoers with over-the-top attractions such as sword swallowers and burlesque dancers.

He told the Associated Press that immigration agents initially stamped his passport and let him through, but that he was stopped again before he was able to exit customs. He soon found himself in a room with other deportees.

The club said in an emailed statement that airport authorities cited "security reasons" in denying him entry. Buchholz said airport workers told him officials were concerned he could be a practitioner of black magic, although no one said so directly.

Buchholz tweeted shortly after he was ordered to leave that he would never come back to Dubai.

But by yesterday, he seemed to be reconsidering. He said he would be happy to return if he had government assurance he'd be let in - though he conceded that might yet be a long shot.

"I have two horns. I think that was also a problem for me in Dubai," he said.

Fugitive MMA fighter War Machine was arrested Friday in California on suspicion of seriously beating his ex-girlfriend, adult-film actress Christy Mack.

Mr. Machine (a/k/a Jon Koppenhaver), himself a former porn actor, was captured in a hotel room in Simi Valley, a suburb northwest of L.A., where he once lived.

Authorities issued a warrant for Koppenhaver last Monday, the same day Mack posted graphic photos of her swollen, beaten face online.

Mack said in a statement that Koppenhaver showed up unannounced at her Las Vegas house on Aug. 8, found her and a friend unarmed, and beat the friend without uttering a word.

Koppenhaver then sent the friend away and turned to Mack, forcing her to shower before knocking out some of her teeth and breaking bones in her face, the statement said.

She wrote that she feared for her life as he sawed off her hair with a dull knife.

Mack said she managed to escape out a back door and run naked through her neighborhood, knocking on doors until someone helped her get to a hospital.

Koppenhaver had been abusive in the past and broke up with her in May, she said.

* In picking 10 music flops of the year, Gerrick D. Kennedy of the Los Angeles Times said of "Paula" by Robin Thicke, "An album dedicated to your estranged wife sounds like a promising idea. Except when the record turns out to be a creepy, hastily crafted mea culpa like this one. From begging for his actress wife to take him back during every performance to teaming with 1-800-Flowers for branded bouquets, Thicke's follow-up to the massive 'Blurred Lines' went down in flames."

Yikes.

Other bombers on the L.A. Times list include Mariah Carey ("Me. I Am Mariah . . . The Elusive Chanteuse"), Candice Glover ("Music Speaks"), Jennifer Lopez ("A.K.A.") and Lea Michele ("Louder").

* The rebooted "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" took in $28.4 million in the film's second weekend to again finish first in the weekly box-office race.

"Guardians of the Galaxy" claimed second with $24.7 million, "Let's Be Cops" was third with $17.7 million, "The Expendables 3" finished fourth with a disappointing $16.2 million and "The Giver" took $12.8 million to finish fifth.

* Chris Kattan has been sentenced to three years' probation for DUI and crashing his Mercedes into a Department of Transportation vehicle on a Southern California freeway earlier this year.

The Los Angeles Times says the former "SNL" star was also ordered to pay a $500 fine and go to an alcohol education program.

A restitution hearing will be held next month to determine how much Kattan owes the state for damage to the DOT vehicle.

* Jean Kasem, the wife of Casey Kasem, plans to bury the late radio personality in Norway - contrary to Kasem's desire to be interred in L.A. and against the wishes of his adult children, a publicist for Kasem's daughter said.

It was unclear when the burial might occur and why Jean Kasem selected Norway.

* Former Vice President Al Gore is suing Al Jazeera America, saying the network is withholding tens of millions of dollars that it owes for buying Current TV from him and other shareholders for $500 million last year.

David Boies, Gore's attorney, said in a statement that Al Jazeera America "wants to give itself a discount on the purchase price that was agreed to nearly two years ago." He said the suit was filed in Delaware Court of Chancery on Friday.

Al Jazeera America didn't immediately respond to a request for comment.

Or they responded on Al Jazeera America and no one noticed.

- Daily News wire services

contributed to this report.

Phone: 215-854-5678

On Twitter: @DNTattle