He's 60. She's 36. He wants to have affairs
DEAR ABBY: I am 36. My husband is 60. We have been together for 10 years. During the first four years we got along great, but he now says he wants to have affairs.
He texts women and tries to hide it from me. I found out he was texting his first ex-wife. It made me uncomfortable, so I asked him to stop. He didn't. When I realized he hadn't, I told him I would leave if it happens again.
I am at the point where I don't want to cuddle or be affectionate with him at all. He commented the other day that he should be allowed to have an affair because I mentioned that I find Hemingway interesting. (He was known for affairs.)
I'm at a loss. I care for my husband and don't want to hurt him. But I'm also scared that I can't afford to be on my own.
- Unsure in Washington
DEAR UNSURE: Hemingway was also known for his drinking and big-game hunting. Is your husband considering doing those things, too?
If ever I heard of a couple who could benefit from marriage counseling, it's you two. As it stands, your marriage is broken. Counseling may help. If it doesn't and you don't have a job, find one and figure out a way to cut your expenses so you can afford to be on your own, because it looks like you will be.
DEAR ABBY: I have a condition that causes constant migraines. A new neighbor heard about my illness and is determined to become my second mother. She continually tries to visit, call and text even though my husband and I have asked her not to.
I dislike hurting people. How can I get her to stop her stalker-ish behavior without making this old lady my enemy?
- My Other Headache's a Neighbor
DEAR OTHER HEADACHE: Stop asking and tell this well-meaning woman that she's making your condition worse by continuing to call, text and visit. And while you're at it, tell her that when you're ready for company, you will contact her - but only when you're feeling well enough to chat. If she persists after that, don't answer her calls and refuse her visits.