A week of Tattling

THE BIG news in Tattle's Week in Review: Paris Jackson's suicide scare and Michael Douglas redefining cunnilingus as putting one's foot in one's mouth.

Friday

The Miss World pageant announced that bikinis will be replaced by sarongs this year in deference to Muslim protests in host country Indonesia. This should not be a problem when Miss America returns to Atlantic City.

Thursday

Paris Jackson, 15, daughter of the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson, was reported 'physically' fine after an reported suicide attempt. With the trial against concert promoter AEG and the molestation claim against Michael by choreographer Wade Robson, it was a tough week for the sensitive Paris. British tabs, however, reported that the suicide attempt came after Paris was denied permission to attend a Marilyn Manson/Alice Cooper concert.

Jennifer Love Hewitt became engaged to her "Client List" costar Brian Hallisay, her babydaddy.

Wednesday

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Kate Winslet both announced they had buns in the oven. For Jennifer it will be her first. For Kate it will be her third, one with each husband.

* Seeking to improve its arm sales, Russia pondered hiring Steven Seagal as the new face of its weapons industry.

Tuesday

A spokesman for big mouth Michael Douglas walked back the actor's claim that he got his throat cancer - not from smoking and drinking for decades - but from orally pleasuring a woman or women with HPV. Gossip practitioners turned medical writers wrote authoritatively about how HPV can lead to certain types of oral cancers but Douglas did not necessarily get his that way.

In a related unfounded hypothesis, Douglas slept on the couch Monday night.

Monday

Tattle = The New England Journal of Medicine. In addition to Michael Douglas's "gave a lickin' and kept on tickin' " interview with Britain's Guardian newspaper, veteran rocker Lou Reed got a liver transplant and Angelina Jolie stepped out with Brad Pitt for the first time following her double mastectomy, at the "World War Z" premiere in London.

Time's up

The BBC announced that star Matt Smith would be stepping down as "Dr. Who" in the fall.

Knocked up

Jenna Dewan-Tatum, wife of Channing Tatum, gave birth to the couple's first child, a daughter named Everly.

* Kim Kardashian said on her insufferable reality show that she was having a girl. She said elsewhere that babydaddy Kanye West would not be in the delivery room.

Split up

Supermodel Linda Evangelista and Hard Rock businessman Peter Morton have called it quits. She wanted to live in their beautiful home in New York. He wanted to live in their beautiful home in Malibu. We should all have such problems.

Laid up

Prince Phillip, 91, was admitted to a London hospital Thursday for what doctors called an exploratory operation. The operation was pre-planned and has something to do with his belly.

Up, up and away

Justin Bieber and his manager Scooter Braun plunked down $250,000 each to get on the space flight list for Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic.

Not up enough

The woman who was kicked in the head by Miguel after his stage leap at the Billboard Music Awards came up a little short, is awaiting the results of brain tests and may sue.

Heavily made up

That's all Tattle could think of when we heard Helena Bonham Carter would play Elizabeth Taylor in a BBC TV-movie.

- Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

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