Sideshow: Not a racist, Tyler declares

"I am the last thing on this planet as far as being a racist," Steven Tyler said on Canadian TV in a quasi-apology to Nicki Minaj, we hope the last salvo in one of the sadder media smackdowns in recent memory. It began when Tyler, an American Idol alum, attacked the show's new judges as ignorant. "You just have to give your opinion. It wasn't hard for me," Tyler told MTV. "If it was Bob Dylan [competing], Nicki Minaj would have had him sent to the cornfield!" He added, "Whereas, if it was Bob Dylan with us, we would have brought the best of him out."

This put Minaj out of sorts. "That's a racist comment," she tweeted. "You assume that I wouldn't have liked Bob Dylan??? why? black? rapper? what?"

Tyler is sorry. Kinda. "I apologize if it was taken wrong, Nicki," he said.

Jessica Simpson pregnant again?

That's pretty much the extent of this report: Some gossipers say Jess, 32, who was delivered of a son, Maxwell Drew, seven months ago, is again with child, the work of wily husband Eric Johnson. Another cadre of gossipers aren't saying Jess is pregnant. A third group report that some gossipers are saying Jess may be pregnant while other gossipers are not. We are not aware of a fourth group.


EW: Ben Affleck is most awesome

Entertainment Weekly has chosen Argo actor and director Ben Affleck as its entertainer of the year. EW editor Jess Cagle tells Good Morning America that, come Oscar time, Ben will "be right up there as best director with Steven Spielberg."


A 'Two and a Half Men' mea culpa

Young thesp Angus T. Jones, 19, has apologized for unloading a nuclear barrage of insults at Two and a Half Men, the sitcom that's employed him for 10 years. Speaking in a vid posted on a religious website, Jones called the CBS show "filthy" and "very inappropriate," adding that he wasn't on the show entirely of his own accord. Jones, who makes $350,000 an episode, later denied he's quitting his job.

Now, he's saying he's sorry.

"I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed," Jones says. "I never intended that." Really? Dude, did you see your own video? Is Two and a Half Men cursed? The Ashton Kutcher-starring show is TV's third most popular comedy. Jones' meltdown follows late star Charlie Sheen's meltdown masterpiece.


72-day marriage, 72-year divorce!

How long does it take to dissolve a wrongheaded, embarrassing - if highly, highly lucrative (ka-ching!) - reality show marriage? Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries went their separate ways 72 days after their Aug. 20, 2011, nuptial circus. Yet they're still married and still fighting over the breakup. Humphries wants an annulment based on fraud. He says Kim married him as a PR stunt to make money. A judge on Wednesday said a court date for the trial would be set in mid-February.


Bob Saget writing; topic unknown

Comic Bob Saget is penning a book for HarperCollins imprint It Books. It's due in early 2014, title and subject matter unknown. Saget, 56, was born into a respectable Italian American family in Abington and played respectable, family-friendly roles in Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos. Yet he also has devised one of the most vulgar (in an entirely awesome way, of course) standup acts in the nation.


A celeb, a signifier, a doctor

A behavioral analyst named Dr. Lillian Glass tells HollyScoop that recently leaked photos showing Gwen Stefani's hub, Gavin Rossdale, with the family's nanny may suggest intimacy of the sexual kind. "Judging by the photo, I would say that is overstepping the boundaries. When someone touches someone's body below the waist, there is oftentimes intimacy that could be going on," says Glass.

Concludes the gossip site, "This kind of touching may suggest there is more going on behind closed doors." Whoa!


Love knows not age or nothin'

Demi Moore, 50, whose former husband, Ashton Kutcher, was a younger man, is continuing the trend, it seems.

The New York Post says she's dating 26-year-old Vito Schnabel, the son of premier artist and filmmaker Julian Schnabel, who at 61, is closer in age to Demi. The Post says Demi and Vito were spotted "dancing and grinding all over each other" at a party in Jodhpur, India, thrown by Naomi Campbell, 42, in honor of the 50th b'day of her beau, billionaire Vladimir Doronin. (My invite was lost in the mail.)


GQ: The least influential

Now here's an honor you'd rather avoid. GQ has released its list of the Least Influential People of 2012, "people so uninspiring that we should round them all up and stick them on an iceberg." It's a snarkfest. Among the notables: Joe Amendola, lawyer for convicted sex offender and former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky; Michelle Obama, because she tried and apparently failed to get Americans to not eat garbage; Belgian singer Gotye ("Somebody I Used to Know"), whom GQ apparently detests; Madonna, with whom GQ pleads to stop making "aggressively bland comeback albums"; Amanda Bynes, the actress with a penchant for bad driving. No. 1 is . . . guess . . . Williard "Mitt" Romney, the currently unemployed public figure. Also honored: Keith Olbermann, Lance Armstrong, Aaron Sorkin, Adam Sandler, and "the remaining scraps of Occupy Wall Street."

- John Timpane

A family that falsifies together . . .

What's a little friendly fakery when it's for the good of the family? Khloé Kardashian told Ellen DeGeneres Wednesday that the Kardashian family Christmas card, which is fronted by a photo of the entire family, was partially Photoshopped: Some family members didn't turn up for the shoot.


This article includes information from Inquirer wire services. Contact "SideShow" at