Tell Me About It: How to end a teen's first relationship?

Question:

I'm 16 and in my first relationship. We've been dating just over a month. At first I really liked him, but the more I'm getting to know him, I kind of want out. He's a good guy, just not the guy for me. My family is like in love with him so I haven't really talked to them about it.

The thing is, I don't know how to break up with someone. He's graduating this year and keeps talking about our future when he goes to college, and I don't want to crush him. I haven't really given any warning signs, so as far as he knows I'm perfectly happy. So if I break up with him now, he would be confused and hurt!

Answer: You can do a lot to minimize the misery of breakup - most of it (she said unhelpfully) well before you want to break up.

Choosing carefully is one such disaster-prevention measure. Not every choice will be a winner and, cheez, you're 16. But you can try to avoid people who are explosive or punitive - and not commit to people you don't know well yet. Non-abusive partners allow you to make the inevitable relationship mistakes without steep emotional prices.

The next breakup softener is to confide in people who want what's best for you, versus themselves. Your family's disappointment is their problem, not yours, and if they agree with that, then do talk to them.

The most important element of a good breakup, though? Honesty throughout the relationship, from Go.

Consider your dilemma: Your boyfriend stands to be blindsided because "as far as he knows I'm perfectly happy." It is so important not to feign contentment when your doubts are piling up.

It's late with your boyfriend, but start anyway: "I haven't been fair to you. When you've talked about next year, I haven't admitted that I'm not ready for that." Responsibility taken, truth told, conversation started.