Sideshow: Bryn Mawr will honor trailblazer Patti Smith

American poet and rocker and mommy and onetime South Street Philadelphia denizen

Patti Smith

will receive Bryn Mawr College's 2013

Katharine Hepburn

Medal (Kate graduated from there in 1928) at a Feb. 7 ceremony. Smith "was a trailblazer in the male-dominated world of rock and roll, and conveys enormous passion and continues to transform herself throughout her artistic journey," the college says in a statement. Smith will be in town a few weeks earlier for a Nov. 29 show co-headined by

Neil Young & Crazy Horse

.

Aren't divorce negotiations fun? Especially when you have no idea what's really going on? Take

Arnold Schwarzenegger

and

Maria Shriver

. Separated for more than a year, they are negotiating a divorce settlement. Meantime, he has a book out,

Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story

, all about his nasty thang with housekeeper

Mildred Baena

, with whom he sired a bairn, that led to the demise of his wedded union. He says in the book the affair was "stupid." And man, is this cultural entrepreneur ever getting around to the talk shows and that!! Baby!! OK, so now we read that (a) he's being a real tough guy with Maria in the negotiations; (b) he doesn't want her to have any of the advance or proceeds from his book, even though by law they're still married; and (c) last week, he was asking her to have him back. What's wrong with this picture?

Justin Timberlake

, now causing hearts to flutter in

Trouble With the Curve

, has signed to play an alcoholic restaurant critic in

The Last Drop

, to be directed by

Peter Sollett

of

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

fame. It continues a trend of J-Timb's, in which he goes for the medium-sized feelie flicks rather than for the blockbusters he could easily get.

You know that mommy-porn book by

E.L. James

,

Fifty Shades of Grey

? It's going to be a huge flick, and rumors now explode, long pent, that

Ryan Gosling

, world darling, will play Christian Grey, the lead guy. James' hubby,

Niall Leonard

, likes the idea. Not so fast, author James told

Ryan Seacrest

on the latter's radio gabfest. Nobody's been inked. Others bruited as possible Greys:

Jake Gyllenhaal

,

Chris Pine

, and

Ian Somerhalder

.

It is with deep gratitude that we commend the courage of

Sofía Vergara

, who faced down a heartless industry pressuring her to reduce her assets. The problem, she told

Katie Couric

on Wednesday's iteration of

Katie

, is most designer gowns are made for girls who are stick figures. And that, in case you don't know, ain't her. But her parents shamed Sofía, who turned a curvaceous 40 this year, into celebrating what God hath given and retaining her 32-F status.

Rumor, so often wrong, has it that

Michael Strahan

, who recently strapped on the bandolier as cohost of

Live! With Kelly and Michael

, has ended his engagement to

Nicole Murphy

. The rumor said Michael discovered inappropriate text messages to Nicole from

London Taylor

, whose "No Panties" vid had Nicole in it. Nicole and Michael both went on Twitter offensive Thursday. Nicole: "wow!! That's funny! Lol!!! I guess they know something that me & mike don't know hahaha." Michael: "@Nicole_Murphy Did we break up and neither one of us know about it?? Lmao #whengossipgotitwrong." Michael says Fox Sports guy

Jay Glazer

will be his best man. No more kids, though. Mike has four by two previous wives, and she has five by former husband

Eddie Murphy

. Nine's enough, yo.

Amanda Bynes has been offered a TV-show job. And not on Speed's Dumbest Stuff on Wheels, although we at SideShow love that program, and the the snarky narration of Matt Iseman! On Thursday, busy Amanda pleaded not guilty to two hit-and-run charges in a Van Nuys court. And then VH1 offers her a shot as correspondent on Big Morning Buzz Live, its caffeinated Emmy-winning a.m. blitzer. Producer Shane Farley tells TMZ she'd be an "invaluable" help to hosts Carrie Keagan and Jason Dundas. Anything that keeps her off the streets. . . . Dolly Parton has announced that her company, Dollywood, is pulling out of a planned water- and snowpark at the Gaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center in Nashville. It had announced the $50 million venture on her birthday in January. She was working with Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam and Nashville Mayor Karl Dean, and they just couldn't make it work. . . . In other court news: As you may know, this dude Sam Lufti, who was Britney Spears' manager for a time, he says, is suing her for defamation. The trial is right around the corner. In court docs, he says that in 2007 he got a drug-sniffing dog and sniffed out her house. The well-schnozzed canine discovered much meth, says Lufti. . . . We hold no brief for either major political party. Both the GOP and the Democrats are buses crammed with bozos, if you ask us. However, if you can't laugh at Samuel L. Jackson's recent pro-Barack Obama vid, you can't laugh. It's a hilarious inversion of the refrain of a recent faux-baby book, Go the [Germanic expostulation] to Sleep, by Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortés. There's a PAC behind it, of course: The Jewish Council on Education and Research. They also made one with Sarah Silverman, urging Florida oldsters to make the "big schlep" to the voting booth. . . . Nicki Minaj has announced, and we wrote it down, that for his birthday she got Lil Wayne a Campagna T-Rex 14R, a $70,000 two-seater, three-wheel mega-motorcycle. Whoa. . . . Piers Morgan has formally banned Kelsey Grammer from his CNN interview show. Kelsey bolted off the set, with seconds to go, when the show's intro showed a photo of his ex-wife Camille. Kelsey joins Madonna, also banned. . . . On Monday from 8 to 10 p.m., the CW will air a special on last week's iHeart Radio Music Festival in Las Vegas. It includes No Doubt, P!nk, Rihanna, Pitbull, Taylor Swift, Usher, and Green Day - but most important, "Gangnam Style" sensation Psy!